


The Grand Book of Kylo Ren x Reader Oneshots

by AmbientLight



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren x Reader - Freeform, Kylo jealous of Hux, POV Kylo Ren, Roleplay, Smut, Star Wars - Freeform, The Force Awakens Fic, and more - Freeform, book of oneshots, jealous!kylo, kylo ren x you - Freeform, rated m for that, taking requests
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:03:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5789983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbientLight/pseuds/AmbientLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a compilation of Kylo Ren x You oneshots, straight from my own mind. There will be smut, angst, fluff, and anything else you can possibly think of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jealousy

Being the only female lieutenant on Starkiller Base was never an easy job. The stresses of the occupation were abundant, and it involved a lot more “dirty work” than being a General or a Commander. Delivering the news of a death in the ranks to the family on the outside, being sure that the ever-fading morale was up, and providing swift discipline and guidance to the lower-ranking officers were a few of the crucial tasks you were expected to perform. Being a member of the fairer sex lessened your intimidation factor amongst the often chauvinistic officers, which made the job all the more frustrating for you. Jeers about your body parts and how the men would enjoy using them were littered at you left and right on days where even the sternest of discipline was ineffective. It was demeaning and infuriating.

 

Despite all of this, nothing you had done in your life had tried your patience more than handling Kylo Ren himself. Being one of the few that had seen the Knight with his mask off was really coming back to bite you in the ass. You were starting to feel emotions that you were trained as a member of the Dark Side not to perceive- attraction, and possibly caring as well. Kylo had confessed to feeling these emotions too, which may be why you two had such a hold on each other. Any time either of you would terminate the relationship for your own good, the other would make a little visit to the dumper’s quarters and make things right in the naughtiest of ways. The two of you knew what made each other tic, and it was too late to go back to the way things were before you even met. 

 

As you pulled your (Y/H/C) hair out of the bun it had been pinned in all day, you breathed a sigh of relief. Work had really been taking its toll on you this week. Although General Hux had been loitering around your work area more often, using the “important business” excuse to mutter a few jokes into your ear. They always made you laugh, and they lightened the one-ton load that always seemed to be on your back. You smiled, thinking of the one he had told about the the hutt and the bounty hunter walking into a bar- 

 

“You’re even thinking about him now?” The unmistakable voice of your Commander sounded from a dark corner of your room, making you jump. Your (Y/E/C) eyes clashed with Kylo’s brown ones- a tidal wave of emotions registered through those eyes- betrayed shock and disbelief, disgust, and undeniable jealousy. His voice was low and raw, anger and hurt radiating through it. His mask was discarded on the other side of your room, leaving you to perceive every last emotion he projected at you face-to -face. 

 

“You’re in my head again, Kylo.” You said calmly. It was your biggest struggle in the relationship you two had (if you could call it that). The subject had instigated so many brawls between the both of you by now that you had lost count, yet he never stopped sneaking inside. 

 

“I barely even needed to go inside.” he spat. “Your emotions for Hux are all but screaming in my face. I should strip away both of your titles for fraternizing on duty.” 

 

“General Hux and I aren’t fraternizing.” You insisted. “I don’t view him as anything more than a colleague, and I’m sure he feels the same way about me. And in all technicality, I should have my title stripped away for fraternizing with the Commander, not the General.” You snorted at the last part. 

 

“This isn’t funny, (Y/N).” Kylo’s voice trembled in anger and unbridled disgust. “He’s thinking about you, I can feel it. All of those nights he stays up late, thinking about you bending over his desk and-”

 

“Kylo, stop.” You blush red, stomach beginning to roil. The realization hit you that the friendship you thought you had with the General was being twisted into something darker. “Don’t you get that I’m not attracted to him? Spare me the details of his stupid thoughts, please. Maybe it would be better if you just stopped pervading other people’s minds and started focusing on your own path.” 

 

“Do you think I can just stop, (Y/N)?!” Kylo raised his voice, causing you to back up on reflex. His yells always ignited fear in you, even if you knew- or thought you knew- he would never harm you. “You wouldn’t understand anything about the Force, I suppose, being a non-sensitive.” He snarled. Instantly, you knew this was an all-holds-barred fight. He was hitting you where it hurt- Kylo was well aware how badly you had disappointed your parents when they had found out you were not Force-Sensitive. That was a secret you had trusted him not to exploit. The fact he had used this against you brought unbidden tears to your eyes, and they were threatening to spill. 

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You screeched. “Just because you feel threatened by General Hux doesn’t mean you have to attack me like that.” Your hands were shaking with adrenaline and anger, a toxic combination. “Maybe instead of demeaning me like every other man on this ship, you could just say something nice once in a while.”

 

His eyes were already starting to glint with an undetectable emotion- guilt, maybe? He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. 

 

“You already have me, Kylo.” You whispered. “I just wish you would care enough to try and keep me.” 

 

“(Y/N)...”

 

“Find me later.” You said quietly, gathering your things and exiting your room quickly, pulling the door shut behind you to avoid him seeing your tears spill, and leaving the Knight alone with his regret.

 

Moments of silence passed, him just standing there, feeling a nauseating mix of guilt and hopelessness- what could he do to prove that he was trying? 

 

His eyes scanned your room frantically, until he saw your desk- neatly organized as it usually was. It held exactly what he was looking for- a pen and paper.

 

He stalked over to your desk, lowering his towering frame into the chair and gathering the writing materials. He had never been much good at writing, but he decided to just start now and see where it took him. He knew that you always reacted well to the flirtatious notes he would dare to drop on your desk during his free moments, and the image of your (Y/E/C) eyes flooding with tears that he had caused was searing into his mind more than he would care to admit. His hands shook and his knuckles whitened as he scrawled the most important thing he had ever dared to put on a piece of paper. 

 

“(Y/N)-

 

The reason I hate General Hux so much is because he brings out the side of you that is too beautiful for just anyone to behold. If I could have it my way, I would keep every laugh you ever laughed, every smile and glimmer in your eyes, every little thing you have ever done to express your happiness. I hate that other men can see it. I know that’s probably irrational, but a man only comes across a woman like you once in every lifetime. The fear of you being stolen out from under me sometimes outweighs my rational thoughts. I just wanted you to know that I will do anything I am capable of to keep you happy. More than Hux can.”

 

Kylo paused, holding the pen to the paper, daring himself to scribble the three words he knew he wanted to write. He winced, and then buried his head in his hands in utter exasperation. If he knew he felt that way, why couldn’t he bring himself to be the man he thought he was and just write it down? 

 

“If you need me, I’ll be waiting in my quarters. Kylo Ren.” He finished, cursing his own cowardice.

 

Maybe next time he got into a fight with you, he could bring himself to tell you in person. For now, he folded the note and placed it delicately on your desk, shoving his hands into his pockets as he quietly left the room. He needed to report to the Supreme Leader- maybe it would cleanse him of these dangerous thoughts.


	2. Yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren catches you in the middle of your daily practice.

If you had learned one thing in your life thus far, it was that everyone had their coping mechanisms, those little things they did to escape from the daily strains of living. Some chose the destructive route, turning to drugs or alcohol for their distraction, but you were proud to admit that yoga was your distraction of choice. It molded your mind as well as your body, and improved so many other aspects of your life, from your attitude to your posture. 

 

As you flowed through your vinyasa and into up-dog, you took a moment to appreciate the view before you. There was a reason you chose to do yoga in Kylo’s room while he was at work - it had a large window that spanned over the far wall that allowed you to observe the constant but varying winter winds and storms, as well as the towering mountains in the distance. It made you feel small, but in the most tranquil sense. You found it very uplifting to feel so close to nature. 

 

As you allowed yourself to fold backward into down-dog and take a deep inhale, you tensed up in surprise as your posterior met with something that was definitely not the open space of the room behind you. 

 

“I’m glad I decided to take the rest of the day off.” Kylo’s unmistakable baritone voice was practically purring as he pressed his clothed groin more forcefully into you, placing his hands on your hips to keep you in your yoga pose. Your legs immediately felt like jelly, and you could already begin to feel yourself growing wetter.

 

“Why don’t you bend over for me like this more often, (Y/N)?” His voice was almost sing songy as he moved his hips forward and used his grip on your hips as means to lower you to your mat and into a more comfortable position, although you were still on all fours. “I love to see you like this- completely submitting to me.”

 

You closed your eyes, feeling his hardness amplify against your thinly clothed ass, even through his thick robes. You were so wet, and nothing had even happened to you yet. His presence had caught you so off guard that you hadn’t had any time to mentally prepare yourself for this type of event. 

 

He allowed a hand to run itself through your (Y/H/C) hair and along your cheek- a gesture that sent chills both up and down your spine, even if you weren’t facing each other at the moment. You moaned in appreciation. You even dared to have a fleeting thought- what if he took you like this? You had never done it on all fours before, and the thought shamefully excited you, sending a rhythmic throb through your very core. 

 

 

“You dirty girl, you’re on your hands and knees.” He swiftly pinched your rear, making you yelp in shock as pain and pleasure melted into one emotion. “You want me to fuck you like this, don’t you?” 

 

It turned you on when he read your mind like a book during foreplay, and he knew it. You nodded in confirmation, silently.

 

He tangled his hands further into your hair, and then yanked, so your neck arched to meet his dark eyes above your (Y/E/C) ones. Your breath stopped in your throat. 

 

“Ask me nicely, then.”

 

You were so wet that you doubted you could take this teasing for any longer than it took for Kylo to take off his clothes. You decided that defiance wasn’t going to be your strategy this time. 

 

“Commander Ren, would you fuck me?” You whispered.

 

“You’re forgetting something.” He smirked, his full lips red from how he bit them in anticipation.

 

“Please, Commander.” You choked out, knowing that he loved when you used his title in the bedroom. He instantaneously let your hair go, and ripped off his robes, using the Force to make a quick job of it. He obviously wanted this as much as you did. 

 

Soon, he was using his long fingers to turn you over and rip away your clothing from your body, sending your yoga leggings into a heap on the floor, along with your loose top and undergarments. This left both of you naked as he roughly shoved you onto all fours once more. 

 

You were trembling in anticipation as he aligned his groin with your entrance, teasing it with the tip. You growled in frustration- why did he have to hold out for so long?

 

He eased himself in inch by inch, and soon he was still within you, leaving you to sigh breathily as you were finally stimulated. 

 

The stillness didn’t last for long, as he began to thrust in and out at a rapid pace, his hands digging into your hips in ways that would surely leave bruises the next morning. You whimpered a little as he searched for your g-spot with his massive cock. It didn’t take him long before he located it, causing you to quite literally screech in pleasure.

 

He gripped your hair and shoved your face down (as gently as he could) into the yoga mat. 

“Quiet.”

 

He continued to move in and out, hitting the right area with every single pulse. You could feel yourself beginning to weaken, and you knew you couldn’t hold on for much longer before you would come. You rutted yourself back into him, skin and skin meeting with a light slapping sound. 

 

You breathed in as deeply as you could, the yoga mat muffling another moan as Kylo thrust as hard as he could into you, grunting quietly. You could tell he was just as close to ending it as you were. He dug his nails into you to keep himself stable, and you could feel your legs beginning to give way by the second. 

 

With one final, sharp movement of Kylo’s narrow hips, you collapsed onto the mat, your orgasm rippling through you in white-hot waves. Kylo finished not soon after, with a low growl, spilling the product into you, and exiting you shortly after. 

 

He stood up rather quickly, yanking his robes back over himself before you could even admire his frame as you usually did after sex. It disappointed you a little, but intrigued you even more. Was this his strategy this time? 

 

“Clean yourself up.” He sneered as he fastened his cape around his neck and strode to the metal entrance of the room. “And don’t do yoga without me again.”

 

He shut the door behind him without so much as a look behind him. You closed your eyes, sighing contentedly as you allowed yourself to sprawl out over the mat, too tired to stand up. 

 

That was without a doubt the best yoga practice you had ever done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased with the amount of kudos and feedback I've gotten after one day of this work being published. Keep it coming, I love ideas and comments! <3 PS I hope you all liked that smut. ;)


	3. Drunk Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your best friend Phasma takes you to a banging party on Starkiller Base, and everything goes south from there.

As a teen, you had never been much of a partier. You tended to strive more for academical recognition, and that took more studying and more self control than you were willing to squander on a bottle of beer or a snort of whatever social drug was in style. You promised yourself years ago that you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself partying, and you had stuck to it all throughout your postsecondary education.

 

That was before your closest friend, Phasma, made you attend a party on Starkiller Base. 

 

“(Y/N), are you ready yet?” Phasma’s drawling, accented voice filtered through the crack in the bathroom door, which you currently stood behind, frantically trying to yank a sparkling cocktail dress onto your body. 

 

“Almost. Just wait a second!” You called out, finally managing to get the dress over your shoulders and snugly onto your body. You had to admit, it hugged all the right places, and the bright red color suited your (Y/E/C) eyes perfectly. Paired with your loose (Y/H/C) curls and your flawless makeup, you were suddenly looking and feeling more than prepared to have one hell of a night.

 

“Hurry up, or you’ll miss seeing your boyfriend without his mask.” Phasma snickered, her voice relaying that she was obviously teasing you. You opened the door to face her, rolling your eyes, but unable to hide the grin on your face. 

 

“Kylo Ren is not my boyfriend, Phas.” You snort. “He doesn’t even know me.”

 

Phasma’s eyes looked you up and down, and she nodded in approval.

 

“He’ll want to as soon as he sees you in that dress. I told you the merchants on Alderaan were right when they said it brought out your eyes.” Phasma boasted. “And your ass.” 

 

“Shut up.” You giggled, blushing. Phasma always knew how to make you laugh. You were one of the only people on the base who knew that the commander of the stormtrooper units also happened to be hilarious and witty. “Let’s go now, before we’re embarrassingly late.”

 

Phasma nodded, walking out the door gracefully, even in her five-inch stilettos. You envied her as you rushed to follow her on your own short legs, almost stumbling over your shoes a few times. 

 

The party was being held in the largest meeting room on the top floor of the ship. Luckily, there were elevators to transport the both of you. The ride upwards was silent, your nervous tension thick in the air. Kylo Ren was going to be there. Without his mask. You had only seen him maskless one other time, when him and Phasma were meeting and you stumbled in on accident. He was unhappy, to say the least. You cringed at the memory, but your heart skipped a beat as you recalled how beautiful he was with his full lips, youthful complexion, and thick ebony hair. That was a sight you’d never be able to forget.

 

The elevator made a hushed dinging noise as you arrived at your destination. Phasma squeezed your hand lightly, a gesture of encouragement. You squeezed hers as well, finding the contact between you two comforting. The doors opened, and you took a shaky step into the meeting hall, Phasma close behind.

 

The noise was the first thing you registered, and then the sheer amount of people. A live band was playing in the middle of the room, and hordes of men you had never seen face-to-face in your life (probably because they usually were in stormtrooper armor) were gathered around the tables that held various foods and alcohols. You turned to Phasma, panicking slightly. This was your first major party, and you already felt like you wanted to retreat to your room.

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.” You had to raise your voice a notch over the music. 

 

“Don’t start with me. Keep moving, (Y/N).” Phasma said, letting you know she was in no mood for nonsense. You sighed, urging yourself to move forward. 

 

The two of you soon made it to the table holding the alcohol. 

 

“Here, take this.” Phasma poured you a tall glass of some sort of spirit. “It’ll loosen you up a little.” She winked. You rolled your eyes, bringing the glass to your lips. The fumes coming off of the beverage burned the inside of your nose, and they burned the inside of your throat equally as much when you took a swig. 

 

You coughed a little, already starting to feel woozy. As you took another sip, your eyes scanned the room. You nearly choked on your drink as you saw him- The Commander himself- loitering around the next table over, making idle chat with a male lieutenant. 

 

Phasma smirked, knowing you had seen what you came to see. She patted you on the back, leaning in to speak into your ear.

 

“I’m going to get some food. Stay here and wait for me.” 

 

Before you could object, she was halfway across the room. Damn her and her long legs. 

 

You took a larger sip this time, and dared yourself to stare at him. It wasn’t too hard to accomplish. You were mesmerized by the way his hands moved to illustrate his points as he talked, and how his eyes even seemed to brighten at points in the conversation. 

 

The Lieutenant he was speaking to suddenly was pulled away by another man in similar garb, leaving the Knight of Ren alone to nurse his beverage. Now that he was undistracted by the other man, he turned to look around the room, locking eyes with you.

 

You looked away immediately, embarrassed that you were caught staring, but a presence you couldn’t explain caused your head to turn, and your eyes to meet his once more. His stare was intense, smoldering, and you couldn’t look away. It was as if someone held you there, and it seemed like an eternity before Phasma came back with the food, snapping you out of your daze.

 

“I got some desserts for you!” She gripped your shoulder to keep herself from stumbling, as she was a bit tipsy. 

 

You turned to her and nodded your thanks silently, taking a sip of your wine. You accepted the food, popping a small tart into your mouth. You had to admit, you were hungry. 

 

“Did you see him yet?” 

 

“Actually, he’s right over at the next table.” You answered, turning to point him out, and noticing that he had left. You sighed, part of you knowing that you probably wouldn’t see him for the rest of the night. “Nevermind.” You grumbled, pissed at yourself for letting him out of your sight. 

 

Phasma sighed. “Sorry. At least you have food now.”

 

You nodded back in silence once more, feeling the most intense disappointment, which was probably intensified by the alcohol.

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” You lied, giving your food to Phasma, and taking a bottle of wine off the table. Phasma took a look at the bottle and laughed in response.

 

“Don’t get alcohol poisoning. You have a life to live yet, (Y/N).” 

 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to laugh as you turned on your heel and left the room, stumbling a little as you entered the empty elevator and descended to your room with the bottle in hand. 

 

As soon as you got through your door, you kicked your heels off and collapsed onto your bed, cracking open the wine and downing large swig after large swig, until you felt warm all over, and it didn’t matter that you hadn’t even spoken to Kylo Ren. It couldn’t have even been more than a half hour of drinking, but being the lightweight you were, you were sloppy after a few glasses worth. 

 

Wait, if it didn’t matter, then why could you feel tears streaming down your cheeks? Who were you kidding, you really cared. You wished Phasma was here…. 

 

The thought occurred to you- you could just text her! You mentally praised your intelligence as you stumbled down from your bed and over to your desk, fumbling with your First-Order issued tablet as you turned it on.

 

Phasma’s number was 7197, right? Or was it 7179? You were pretty sure it was 7179. 

 

“Phas, what do I do about Kylo” you typed, knowing you were shitfaced, but also happy that your friend would be the only one who was aware. 

 

“What do you mean?” She responded, seconds later. 

 

“Hes so hot what do I do” you replied sloppily through your drunken haze, barely managing to string the words together and hit send.

 

“You could just talk to him. He thinks you’re beautiful, I know for a fact.”

 

“No way.”

 

“Yes. He can barely keep control when he looks at you.”

 

You felt a tear streaming down your cheek. Why did Phasma have to lie all the time? You put down your tablet, and that was the last thing you remembered.

 

~

 

“(Y/N), wake up.” Phasma stood over you, shaking you awake. Her laughter was barely contained as she lifted you into a sitting position. “You fell asleep on the floor beside a tablet and a half-full bottle of wine after you told me you were going to the bathroom.” 

 

You groaned, faintly remembering a few hazy events from the night before, as the shining sun threatened to blind you.Your head felt as if it was about to split in two from your quickly-developing hangover. 

 

“I was drunk texting.” you mumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you recited the only thing you could really recall. You needed some water, stat.

 

“Who?” Phasma laughed, unable to hold it in for any longer. “You didn’t strike me as that type.” 

 

“You, stupid.” You rolled your eyes.

 

“I had my tablet on me all night last night. It wasn’t me you were texting, I assure you.”

 

Your stomach sunk. “But your number is 7179..”

 

“7197.” She corrected. 

 

Your mouth hung open as your mind raced to form an explanation- the replies to those texts could have only been from Phasma, unless…

 

“Kylo.” You whispered, your eyes widening. “Ohmygod I drunk texted Kylo.” 

 

You hung your head in your hands. This was going to be one hell of day, and it wasn’t even noon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Marie for requesting this story. I hope I did it justice considering I have never drank a drop in my life, much less drunk texted. :) keep the comments coming, they literally make my day. <3


	4. Professor Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you are the schoolgirl and Kylo Ren is the Professor.

“Meet me in my quarters at 9:00. Wear this, and don’t be late.” 

 

That was all the note had said- the lettering was hastily scrawled in Kylo’s typical font, and in blood red ink, left on your bed for you to find as soon as you got off work. Right under the note was a garment- or a set of garments, you supposed- neatly folded. You furrowed your brows as you curiously picked up the outfit and unfolded it delicately, as if you were afraid you would rip it. 

 

As you laid it out onto your bed, your eyes widened as you connected the dots rapidly in your mind. The outfit contained knee-high socks, a plaid skirt that you doubted would even fully cover your ass, and a crisp and white top complete with a red necktie. The shirt was cropped and only had about two buttons, assuring that your cleavage would be more than visible. 

 

Was the Knight of Ren moving to roleplay? You wouldn’t object, of course. Especially since the image of Kylo in a professor costume was already weakening your knees. 

 

You glanced at the clock, your heartbeat quickening in anticipation. 8:45. Just enough time for you to get ready. You stripped your black-on-black First Order uniform off of your body and into a heap on the floor, and slipped into the knee-high socks, mini skirt, and barely-there top. You fumbled a little with the necktie, but managed to successfully knot it to your liking after a few tries.

 

You took a glance at yourself in the mirror, almost gasping at the sight of your own reflection. The getup was scandalous, to say the least. You had to admit, you looked positively amazing in those knee-highs. The plaid set off your (Y/E/C) eyes perfectly- which was undoubtedly Kylo’s doing. You efficiently shook your mane of (Y/H/C) hair from its bun, allowing it to frame your flushed countenance in loose waves. You were ready.

 

He wouldn’t mind it if you were early, would he?

 

Not daring to make the walk down the hallway in your current outfit, you opted to slip a black bathrobe over it, in case you made a run-in with stormtrooper, or worse, General Hux. 

 

You practically jogged out your door, ecstatic at the prospect of how this night was going to go. In mere moments, your quick walking pace had you halfway down the empty hallway. Nervousness started to hit you at that moment- you had never roleplayed before. What if you said something totally embarrassing? What if you started laughing?

 

You were caught up in your thoughts, even as you approached his door. You stopped in front of it, taking a deep inhale, urging yourself to remain calm. You knocked lightly, uncertainly. The door slid open, but Kylo was nowhere to be seen.

 

You ventured into the dimly lit room, shedding your bathrobe as soon as the door was closed in your wake. The cool air in the room sent a slight shiver up your spine, and you rubbed your arms to return a little heat to your body. 

 

Then, you saw him. He nearly took your breath away as well as your inhibitions, and not because you were startled. He sat in leisurely and confidently at his desk in the corner of the room, legs spread wide, arms crossed, his wide shoulders straight, not hunched. He was clad in typical professor garb- dress pants, a pressed shirt that clung to all of his streamlined frame, and a perfectly knotted tie, all of which you wanted to tear right off of him at that very second. 

 

As soon as that fleeting thought crossed your mind, his plump lips morphed into his characteristic smirk. 

 

“(Y/N). I assume you’re here to talk to me about your grades.” He drawled, his eyes never breaking contact with yours, as he leaned forward over the desk and clasped his hands together. “Go on.” 

 

You snapped out of your daze, deciding that you were more than willing to play along. Excited, even. 

 

“Professor Ren.” You hummed. “I’m failing your class right now.” 

 

You sauntered forward, his dark orbs following you the entire time. You stopped directly in front of his desk, and then ever so slowly bent down, until your chest was aligned with his face. You smirked in satisfaction as you watched his face redden slightly. 

 

“Is there anything I can do?” You breathed.

 

Kylo tore his gaze away from your chest for a moment to answer you, his voice low and husky with desire. 

 

“I think we could arrange something.” He purred . “But it might take some convincing.” You looked below the table, and blushed slightly as you saw that he was very evidently excited. That only motivated you further, as a new idea came to you.

 

You straightened up, making your way from around the desk to behind Kylo’s chair. You rested your hands on each of his broad, muscular shoulders as you leaned in, allowing your chest to kiss his back as you tighten your grip around his shoulders, just enough to elicit a surprised inhale. You moved in towards his ear so you could whisper into it, inhaling the scent of his perfectly tousled raven hair before you did so. 

 

“It’s a little hot in here. Is it okay if I take off my shirt, Professor?” 

 

Kylo was never a man of control, and this time was no different. You were surprised that he had even made it this far, to be honest. He turned his chair around rapidly, and roughly pulled you into his open lap. You gasped in shock, but also bit back a moan as you felt him against your groin. You ground your hips into his, and he responded by tearing your shirt off of your chest and meeting lips with yours for a kiss that was all tongue and teeth. 

 

You were soaking by now, and you knew he could feel it. He quickly tore off your skirt as well, but left the necktie and knee-highs. 

 

You made a move to assist him in between kisses, but were met with his hand pulling yours away. 

 

“If you want an A, (Y/N), you’ll keep those on.” 

 

You bit your lip and nodded in a charade of innocence as you met his lips once more. You frantically clawed at his shirt, wanting to start the main event. He assisted you in pulling away his clothes, until your uniforms were combined in a mess on the floor around you, and the both of you sat in the chair, breathing heavily, you in your socks and tie, and him completely nude. 

 

“Open your legs.” He growled.

 

You complied, allowing him to inch his way inside and suck bruises into your neck as he did so. You moaned as he pushed himself fully inside, and then roughly grabbed your hips and pulled them downward onto his, effectively burying himself further inside of you. 

 

“Ky- Professor Ren.” You breathed, beginning to move your hips forward, bringing forth a growl from your partner’s throat. 

 

He bucked his hips so that he hit the very back wall of your core, causing your back to arch. You dug your nails into his shoulders as he let you ride him on his desk chair. 

 

The pace of his thrusts began to quicken, and you couldn’t hold back your squeals of pleasure any longer as he continued to ram right into your sweet spot. You frantically swayed your hips forward, backward, managing to make Kylo grunt a string of curse words.

 

“If you keep riding me like that, I’m going to come early.” He growled into your ear, sending a jolt of electricity through your being. 

 

You slowed your pace, Kylo sighed almost contentedly. 

 

“That’s it, (Y/N), that’s good.” 

 

He planted a small, almost sweet kiss onto your lips, and that almost pushed you to finish right then. But you willed yourself to hold out for as long as you physically could. You didn’t want this to end. You never did. 

 

Minutes later, you knew that you couldn’t make it much longer as Kylo made a particularly rough thrust. You squealed as you lurched forward, your finish washing over you in a wave of pleasure. Kylo moved in you once more before he finished alongside you, collapsing into the desk chair. 

 

Your body folded over his, and his long fingers snaked their way into your now mussed hair, as he whispered into your ear. 

 

“I think you deserve an A for that performance, (Y/N). Well done, love.” 

 

A smile broke across your face at the endearment he had bestowed upon you. He rarely did such things, but when he did, they had you elated for days to come. 

 

“Thanks.” you hummed. “We’ll do this again, right?” 

 

“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll answer that question for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father forgive me, for I have sinned. :P No, but I felt like this had never been done before, and I was desperate to put this image on paper. Tell me if you liked it. I feel like I can't be the only one who is weak at the thought of Kylo in a dress suit.


	5. Robes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try on some of Kylo Ren's robes while he is at work, and things get fluffy.

One of the most notable perks about sharing quarters with the commander-in-chief of Starkiller Base was being able to rest easy knowing that nothing was being hidden from you. Not that the master of the Knights of Ren was very emotionally reserved (especially when he was angry), but it allowed you to rest easy knowing that anything he knew, you did as well. 

 

Another bonus was Kylo’s closet. As much as the man would audibly protest that “No, he was not a diva”- his massive walk-in closet complete with curtains of the most expensive Alderaanian silk practically screamed otherwise. The most comical part wasn’t even the fact that your significant other had a closet of this caliber, it was that he actually needed it to store all of his robes and capes, which were all identical down to the buttons and stitching. 

 

You had been awake in Kylo’s bed alone for about an hour, staring up at the ceiling, debating what to do with your day off. Without someone to accompany you, you became bored quite easily. It was a regrettable trait of yours that would probably never change. You sighed ruefully, rolling over onto your side, your (Y/E/C) lazily meeting with the walk-in-closet. 

 

You let a slow smile spread onto your face as your mind connected the dots. Kylo was gone for work, and probably would be for the rest of the afternoon. You were alone in here, and his robes and extra masks were alone in the closet. You knew what you were doing for the next few minutes.

 

Hopping out of bed and barely containing a mischievous giggle, you pranced over to the closet, pulling aside the decorative curtains and turning on the lamp to illuminate the countless hanging robes, all custom tailored. You had always wanted to try on his robes and his mask, and not for any identifiable reason. You were just curious to know what it felt like to be Kylo, you supposed. Minus the commanding part.

 

You pulled the underclothes on first- a simple black outfit made purely to cover up skin. The outfit sagged over your petite frame, as Kylo towered over you by a foot and probably outweighed you by eighty pounds or more. You yanked on one of his pairs of boots as well, which threatened to slip off of your feet with every tiny movement. 

 

Next came the overcoat, the belt, and the cape. You caught a glance at yourself in the mirror and held back a fit of laughter. You looked like you were being absolutely swallowed by fabric, but you did look like a much shorter Kylo Ren. You just needed to find a mask. 

 

From what you knew, Kylo kept one spare mask hidden somewhere in here. He couldn’t let his underlings see him bare-faced, for reasons you couldn’t quite identify yet. Your eyes scanned the room, stopping on a metal box, expertly shoved away into a dark corner of the closet. You shuffled over to it, careful not to disturb the layers of clothing you had managed to drape over yourself that were threatening to slip right off. 

 

You picked up the box and opened it, revealing just the thing you were looking for- Kylo Ren’s characteristic mask. You eagerly yet gently took it out of its container, sliding it over your (Y/H/C) locks and looking in the mirror once more. You could barely see through the scant slits in the mask, but you could observe your reflection well enough. You giggled audibly, the mask’s voice changer shifting your laugh to sound like a devious guffaw which only sent you further into hysterics. 

 

You stumbled out of the closet, almost tripping over the damned cape. Why did he have to be so tall? 

 

“Bring me the prisoner.” You spoke, giggling again at how much your voice sounded like Kylo’s when you spoke. “Get me that map.” You marched around the room as best you could, swinging a mock lightsaber as you did so. This was the best idea you had ever had, hands down. 

 

“Y/N?” That all too familiar voice stopped you in your tracks. It sounded like he was trying to hold back a fit of laughter as you turned around to survey him. He was in training clothing, and maskless. “What are you doing, exactly?”

 

“How dare you speak to your commander in such a tone?” You giggled through the mask, causing Kylo to burst into laughter. This was one of the few times you had seen him laugh this hard, save for when he was sloppy drunk. It pulled a heartstring that hadn’t been pulled in too long. 

 

He walked over to you and enveloped you in his strong arms, spinning you around before setting you down and taking his mask off of your face, dropping it to the ground.

 

Your eyes met, you were still breathing hard from laughing so incessantly. He closed the space between you with a gentle kiss. 

 

“You really get this bored without me?” He whispered after pulling away. 

 

You smiled in response. “Well, that was something I’d wanted to do for a while.” 

 

He pulled you into his chest for a hug so soft, yet so protective that you almost couldn’t believe that this gesture was coming from Kylo Ren himself- the man who slashed entire consoles apart in rage on any given day. 

 

“The robes look good on you.” He whispered, squeezing you a bit tighter. “But they would look even better on the floor.” 

 

You giggled at his cheesy pickup line, but who were you to refuse your favorite Knight of Ren?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little short, but I hope it'll do! I love the idea of the reader trying on his robes. :) I also felt like it was about time for some mild fluff action as well. Hope you like! <3


	6. The Last Command

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kylo Ren becomes one step closer to completing his training under Leader Snoke. Angst ahead.

As you stood on the bridge, hearing the deafening roars of Starkiller Base's mechanics exploding around you, and feeling the stinging heat of the aftermath against your skin, your father's advice from so long ago ran on a loop through your conscious. 

"Listen to me, Y/N," He had gripped your shoulders firmly enough to know he was urgent, but gently enough to know that he meant only the best. "You can't change him, do you hear me? You can never change a man. Don't try. The bad men will always want to hurt you." Your father had never been a man of many emotions, but the memory of the look in his eyes sent a chill through you. He was pleading with you, and you defied that plea, believing you could fix the man standing before you. The worst part was that a piece of you still believed you could. 

A dim red light illuminated the room, along with the residual flames from the explosions. Save for a few dead stormtroopers, you and Kylo were the only ones on the bridge. Everyone else was out fighting the Resistance, or fleeing the scene all together. Normally, being in the same proximity as Kylo would soothe any anxiety you had, but you had just watched him commit an unthinkable crime, one you never thought he would execute. You knew what you had to do as soon as Han Solo's limp body was pushed off of your former lover's saber.

That didn't stop you from trembling noticeably, hot tears streaming down your face, unbidden. Regret and apprehensive fear filled you- you should have listened to your father. You should have ignored his advances. You should have never let him touch you, kiss you, woo you. But it was all too late. 

"Kylo!" You screamed across the bridge, shakily stepping closer to him, gripping a blaster for defense. His body was turned away from you, and he slowly spun to face you, unmasked.

His eyes were full of unbridled fury, but also a tinge of remorse, it seemed. Confusion, anger, sadness. Everything was there, and swirling in a hurricane of dark brown. He was hauntingly perfect, even in his murder-fueled rage, which made it all the harder to formulate exactly what you were going to say. You felt helpless in his gaze, like a deer in headlights. 

 

"Y/N." He answered simply, harshly. So unlike how he would address you on any normal day. His voice used to be softer, kinder. Now all it held was malice. As if you had done something to hurt him. 

You brushed away your tears with one hand, never breaking eye contact. 

"Kylo, stop this now. We can leave this place, leave Snoke and Hux and everybody else. We can start over." You pleaded. You knew that you couldn't support him killing his own father, but you could try to escape with him unharmed. You knew Kylo had good in him, and you knew that he was torn apart every single day as he came to realize he was the most even 50/50 split the force had ever seen. "Please. I love you." You dared to whisper, your (Y/E/C) eyes a pool of desperation. “Don’t do this to me. To both of us. I can help you.” You and Kylo had shared so many moments, and they seemed to flash before your eyes- all of the kisses, the murmured sentiments, every time you had trained together, and every time you had gone into battle side by side. Did he remember any of that? Your grip on the blaster tightened reflexively, whitening your knuckles. 

 

He moved even closer to you, lightsaber in hand but powered down. 

"There is nothing to put a stop to." He snarled at you. "The First Order can only move forward. The Supreme Leader is wise, and it is time to fulfill his last command to me." His long legs made the journey to the space right in front of you in seconds. 

 

His last command. 

 

As the realization dawned on you that you were the final piece in Kylo’s puzzle, and nothing more, adrenaline took over, and you turned to run away- a foolish decision.

 

You immediately felt the force freeze you into place, and you heard the clang of your blaster dropping to the ground. Kylo’s body heat radiated off of his being, you could feel him inches from your back, and his breathing tickled your neck.

 

His lightsaber powered on with a harsh whir. You squeezed your eyes shut, and let a sob of fear escape. He was going to kill you. The man you loved was going to kill you. 

 

“Don’t cry, (Y/N).” He whispered, almost tenderly, using his free, leather-clad hand to gently brush back a stray strand of (Y/H/C) hair. “Just close your eyes, and keep them shut.” 

 

You struggled for your life against the force holding you hostage, but that only made Kylo tighten his grip. You could barely draw in a breath now, and you began to feel faint from the cut in your supply of oxygen. 

 

Without warning, you felt a white-hot pain spread through your chest, and you looked down to see the tip of the crackling crimson blade protruding from your torso. Your spirit began to leave your body, your energy was declining as you shuddered and tried to inhale, your throat only managing to make squeaking noises. 

 

“You should have listened to your father.” was the last thing you ever heard, before your lifeless body was pushed over the side of the bridge, by an emotionless Kylo Ren. His last command was now fulfilled. Snoke would be overjoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been in such an angsty mood lately. I wanted to illustrate that Kylo really is an evil man, even if there is light in him, he acts impulsively, and he is hard-wired to reject any pull to the light- human or not. Tell me your thoughts. I was thinking of doing a part 2 for the Drunk Texting story sometime soon as well- you all seemed to want a continuation?


	7. The Informant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo Ren have been dispatched on a mission to gather information from a notable First Order sympathizer. {Request}

“Are you ready?” 

 

The animatronic voice came from beside you, owned by none other than Kylo Ren himself, the chief commander of the First Order. You couldn’t believe your own ears when General Hux had summoned you to his office last week to tell you that you- a stormtrooper in training- would be accompanying the Knight of Ren on a stealth mission to Tatooine. 

 

“You have shown promising talent.” He had said, pursing his thin lips into a line before he cleared his throat to continue. “Commander Ren has taken notice. He, you, and a small backup squadron will be dispatched to Tatooine at eleven o’clock sharp tomorrow. Don’t be late.” 

 

Upon saying this, he slipped you a file, likely containing the mission details. You accepted it cautiously, saluting the General before exiting the room, your hands shaking with adrenaline, and your mind buzzing with pride. 

 

“Promising talent”. Those two words were something you would go through (hellish) basic training and back for. 

 

As soon as you could find a free moment to retreat to your private quarters, you were greedily absorbing the information given to you, dissecting every word written in the file. 

 

You and Ren would be meeting with a turned Resistance member called Lieutenant Rohn Nothwa. He claimed to know crucial information about the Resistance that had to be verbally communicated. Coordinates, maps of the bases, and knowledge about the location of the last Jedi. He promised to trade these secrets to be a member of the First Order, and he wanted to meet Kylo Ren in an abandoned palace in the Dune Sea to swear fealty and share information. 

 

Included in the file were pictures of Nothwa, and coordinates and maps of the Dune Sea, as well as a list of stormtrooper serial numbers. 

 

You knew in your bones that you could excel in this mission, especially with a backup squadron of the people you had grown up beside. You tensed your grip around your blaster for a split second before looking up at the masked man beside you, and smiling. 

 

“I was born ready.” 

 

The doors to the modestly sized ship slowly shut before you, and you could feel the ground beneath you begin to move as you rose into the air. The squadron- composed of about five other troopers- sat in a single-file line against the wall, conversing amongst themselves, and leaving you to either be silent or make conversation with your commander, who admittedly intimidated you. 

 

You tugged at the uniform issued to you for the mission- not the stormtrooper garb you were used to wearing, but a set of thick black robes with a belt, similar to Kylo Ren’s, but more effeminate, cinching at the waist and billowing around your petite form. It felt foreign not to have a helmet on. Your (Y/H/C) hair fell freely around your face, which was a sensation you were still struggling to get used to. You shoved your blaster into its holster on your belt and allowed your hands to hang loosely at your sides, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves . 

 

“You seem anxious.”

 

His voice caused you to do a double-take, as it was no longer clouded by the synthesizer. You blinked, turning slowly to face the now unmasked Kylo Ren. He shook out his hair, placing his mask on the ground. He must have removed it while you were deep in thought just moments ago. You couldn’t believe what was before you- not the scarred, gravely-voiced, elderly man that you had formed such a vivid picture of inside your mind, but a young man, with a graceful face. His raven hair fell perfectly around his high cheekbones, and seemed to set off his dark eyes and plump pink lips. You must have stared at him for much too long, because he began to smirk, causing your heart to speed up in your chest.

 

“Just apprehensive, sir.” You forced yourself to tear your (Y/E/C) eyes away from his black ones, as they seemed to be analyzing you a bit more than you felt comfortable with. “I’ll get over it when we land.” 

 

“I hope that’s the case.” He said. “I can’t have my mission partner overcome by nerves. You would do me no good terrified.” 

 

“We’re approaching Tatooine.” The pilot’s voice crackled over the loudspeaker, causing the stormtroopers sitting to stand at attention, and Kylo Ren to briskly pick up his mask and slip it over his face once more, causing your heart to sink. You would probably never see his face again, and it saddened you for reasons you wished not to admit. 

 

You rolled your shoulders back stared straight ahead. There should be virtually no danger on this mission. Just an exchange of information. You could do this. 

 

The plane came to a graceful landing moments later, the doors sliding open with a gentle whirring sound, allowing Kylo to step outside first, followed by yourself, and followed by the stormtroopers. 

Your eyes scanned your destination- dunes and canyons in varying shades of tan that stretched as far as your eyes could see clashed with the stunning indigo of the sky above. The grandest sight to behold, however, was the palace before you. Even if it had been abandoned for centuries, its exterior truly illustrated how magnificent it must have been in its early years- accents of gold and varying gems lined the outer walls, and the building must have been 1,000 feet high. 

 

The arid desert breeze coupled with the warm temperature prodded your group to move quickly towards shelter. As you all approached the door, Kylo turned sharply on his heel, stopping the procession to utter final words of instruction. 

 

“You will all remain silent and still, unless I give the signal to fire. Do you understand me?” 

 

You and the others nodded in answer. Kylo knocked on the door, which slid open as soon as he did so. He slowly advanced into the expanding front corridor, you close behind. You noticed how his hand slid to his lightsaber, no doubt a nervous reflex. It helped you to know that you were not the only one apprehensive. 

 

After minutes of walking, you approached a sitting area, where Nothwa was reclined on a rather decadent golden throne. You scanned the man before you. He looked identical to the pictures- young, dark skin, beady eyes that seemed as if they held too many secrets. Lithe and muscular form, intimidating gait. You looked around the room, holding your blaster. It was dimly lit, but you saw nobody hiding, a good sign. You began to relax. 

 

Nothwa stood up. 

 

“Kylo Ren.” 

 

“Rohn Nothwa. I understand that you have information for me.” His mask made the words he spoke a million levels more intimidating. You could barely believe that Nothwa wasn’t trembling in his presence.

 

“I wasn’t informed that a group would be accompanying you.” The man answered, his hands sliding behind his back slowly, deliberately. He made direct eye contact with you, sending a jolt of electricity up and down your spine. Something felt wrong, but Kylo had told you not to speak.

 

“They are sworn to the First Order, no secrets will be exposed.” Kylo said impatiently. “Now I suggest you start divulging the coordinates you promised, Lieutenant, before I begin to suspect this mission is a waste of my time.”

 

Something flashed in Nothwa’s eyes, before he flicked his wrist slightly. 

 

Upon making that gesture, a million things happened at once. 

 

You felt yourself being knocked to the ground, and the sound of blasters firing left and right assaulted your eardrums. Panicking, you scrambled up onto your feet, gasping for the air that had been knocked out of you, and gripping your own blaster. 

 

Feet away, Kylo Ren was struggling against two other masked men armed with military grade blasters. Bounty hunters. Ren had been lured here to be captured for ransom, you realized. His lightsaber was a wall of red that rapidly deflected the bullets flying his way. You aimed to shoot one of the assailants, but in your rush to fire, you only grazed his helmet, causing him to fire two shots at you, which you dodged.

 

Nothwa sat in his throne, spinning a blaster in his hand, and watching the scene before him unfold as if it was a television sitcom. You angrily fired a shot at him as well, managing to maim his stomach. He stood up furiously, firing his blaster at you in retaliation. 

 

Everything moved in slow motion as you moved to dodge the blast, but you didn’t move fast enough. It landed in your side, causing you to crumple to the ground. Before you could get up, your body involuntarily launched itself into unconsciousness. 

 

When you came to, you felt as if you were reclining on a cloud, moving slowly, suspended in air. You blinked slowly, clearing the sleep that fogged your eyes to see that you were being held in the arms of Kylo Ren himself. He was unmasked, and a wound on his bicep was open and bleeding freely onto you. He was limping, you could feel it. The pain in your side intensified as he continued to run, toting you almost gently. You closed your eyes again.

 

You awoke this time on the ship you had arrived in, beside Kylo, who was breathing heavily and surveying a gruesome looking wound on his clavicle. 

 

You winced in pain, as the ship went over a bit of turbulence. He cursed under his breath, looking over to you, and gripping your arm to keep you from falling over. 

 

“Where are the others?” You asked, your voice hoarse.

 

“Dead.” He grunted. “All of them. You managed to kill Nothwa with your blast, and I took down the rest of the assailants. The backup squadron was lost in the process. They failed to protect us both, and they endangered the mission with their incompetence. Hux must have made an effort to send me along with the weakest troopers of the bunch.” He replied disdainfully, holding his lightsaber in his hand with white knuckles.

 

Your heart sank, and tears came to your eyes. You had known them all, had trained with them all. You had seen their tears- happy and grieving. You knew how hard they trained to be a part of a mission like this, and now your commander was disgracing their names. 

 

“They were helping us.” You spat. “They tried until the end. How could you say that about your own men? They died for you.” Your wound was beginning to feel more and more painful, but you refused to give into that pain right now, as you stared your commander in the face after your brazen statement.

 

“They were reckless. None of them noticed the other men coming on us until it was too late.” Ren snarled. “They could have gotten us both killed. The First Order wouldn’t continue without its commander. You don’t understand the severity of this offence. You’re letting your biases get in the way of your judgement.” His voice rose. 

 

“Me?!” You snarled, scooting your body away from him. “I trained with these men all my life, and I couldn’t save them. You didn’t even try to save them, and you’re going to tell me I don’t understand?!” 

 

“I saved your life.” He stood up shakily, advancing towards you in fury as his voice came out in a white-hot rage. “You should be more grateful to me.” 

 

Suddenly, it occurred to you why Kylo was so furious. He was repressing something. It wasn’t the mission that was getting under his skin, it was something else entirely. 

 

“You care about me, don’t you?” You dared to whisper. “You cared what happened to me back there.” Realization hit you- the special treatment, the feeling that he was analyzing you, how he carried you back onto the ship...

 

Kylo stopped in his tracks. Silence filled the room for a brief moment before he spoke about again, his voice more venomous than before. 

 

“Don’t fool yourself.” His face reddened slightly as he clenched his fists. “That blaster wound could kill you, and I wouldn’t grace you with a second thought. Caring isn’t an emotion of mine, so you would do well to mind your tone.” 

 

The ship landed promptly, and as the doors opened, medical droids instantly whisked you and Kylo into separate hospital bays. You could barely contain your embarrassment at your assumption. It hurt more than the wound in your side, and you resolved then to forget that anything between you had ever happened. 

 

Days later, you were still recovering in Bay 1. Staring at the ceiling had gotten quite boring, so when Hux came to your ward to visit you, you had half a mind to leap onto your feet and hug him, but you refrained.

 

“Commander Ren requests to see you as soon as you have made full recovery. He says he wants to brief you in on a new mission.” Hux said evenly. “What should I tell him?”

 

You sighed, searching your mind for a witty reply, and coming through with nothing, as usual. 

 

“Tell him he can count on it.” You said quietly, waiting until Hux had left the room to smile to yourself. If Kylo Ren didn’t care, then he was doing a poor job of showing it, which you were more than grateful for. Suddenly, recovery could not come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh when I saw this request in my comments, I knew I had to write it. Thank you guys for constantly giving me feedback along with great ideas. <3


	8. Drunk Texting Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The short continuation to "Drunk Texting". Enjoy!

Phasma, seeing the genuine fear in your eyes, quickly raced to provide encouragement.

 

“(Y/N), it’s alright. I promise. What did you say to him?” 

 

“I asked advice on how to deal with him, and he said that I should talk to him. God, Phasma, I thought I was texting you.” You wailed, almost hyperventilating. You had to be at work in an hour, and your rank as a minor officer made it so skipping wasn’t an option if you valued your job security. You were hungover, you needed a shower, and you were going to have to face Kylo after what you had done. “I called him hot….” 

 

Phasma met eyes with you, obviously holding back a fit of laughter at your admission. “You must have really been shitfaced.” She giggled. “And on less than half a bottle of wine…” 

 

“Not helping.” You grumbled, feeling your face grow hotter by the second, your headache tingling in pain as you stood up to get dressed, swaying a little and grabbing a chair to keep yourself stable. You weren’t tipsy, but this hangover was nothing to laugh at.

 

“I’ll set out your clothes.” Phasma said gently. “You go and take a shower and do your hair and makeup.”

 

You let go of the chair and turned away from Phasma to make the journey to your bathroom.

 

“(Y/N), wait.” 

 

You turned to face Phasma. “What?” 

 

“If he approaches you today, what are you going to do?” 

 

“Run away.” You sighed, looking down at your feet as you realized the likelihood of him approaching you was very, very high.

 

“No, look at me.” She said firmly, as if scolding one of her stormtroopers for failing a maneuver. You met eyes with her, bemused. “You are going to look him in the eye. You are going to smile and you’re going to act pretty. If he asks you about last night, you’re going to tell him how you feel. Do you hear me?”

 

You couldn’t help but smile. Phasma always gave good pep talks. It was part of the reason why you were such close friends. You felt your confidence slowly but surely building up again. Kylo had even admitted that he found you beautiful last night, so what did you have to be afraid of?

You nodded.

 

“I want a verbal answer. Did. You. Hear. Me.” 

 

“I heard you.” You laughed, truly grateful, but not wanting to sound sappy. “Thanks for the pep talk, but I need to shower.”

 

Phasma nodded, starting to search the closet for your work uniform. 

 

You shut the bathroom door quietly behind you as you turned the shower water on and stepped inside, feeling the layers of grime from the party wash away. 

 

In 3/4 hour, you had managed to get your hair looking slightly tamed, and you had applied light makeup. You slipped into the clothes Phasma had set out for you before she had left your room to report to her duties. Before leaving your room for what could very well be the most daunting day of your life, you surveyed yourself in the mirror one last time, determining that you looked as good as you would ever look. Your heart started to beat quicker, and your palms moistened with sweat as you left your room, shutting the door behind you.

 

You focused on taking deep breaths in and out while walking down the hallway to your division. In, out. In, out. You focused so deeply that you didn’t watch ahead of you, and before you could register what exactly was happening, you found yourself colliding face-first into the chest of a man, and then backwards onto the ground in one swift motion.

 

“I’m so sorry.” You mumbled, scrambling to your feet and brushing off your uniform. “I really wasn’t paying atte-” You finally looked up to face the man you had bumped into and shut your mouth immediately as you were met with the mask of Kylo Ren, staring at you silently, no doubt marveling at how clumsy you were. “I’m….Uh…” You mumbled, searching for words to fill up the silence.

 

“Officer (Y/N).” His low, baritone voice poured through the synthesizer. “About last night.” 

 

“I-” You started.

 

He cut you off. “You thought you were talking to Phasma, didn’t you?” 

 

You nodded, sighing. This was so humiliating. You didn’t think you’d have to face him this early in the day, yet here you were, in the embodiment of a worst case scenario. 

 

“Was it true, what you said?” He asked quietly, clasping his hands together in front of him, and then unclasping them, then fumbling with his belt. Was he nervous? The mask hid every conceivable emotion. 

 

You remembered Phasma’s words. She would never let you live it down if you lied to him. Plus, he would probably know anyway, if his powers were half as extensive as rumored around Base.

 

You nodded. “Was what you said true?” You dared to ask.

 

He nodded in response, filling your stomach with butterflies. You shifted your weight from one foot to the other as Kylo curled and uncurled his fists. The silence in the room wasn’t awkward- it was laced in relief, as if they had both rid a weight from their shoulders that had been threatening to crush them.

 

“That will be all. Continue to work.” He said curtly, shattering the silence before turning to briskly walk away. The truth of his admission had probably left him embarrassed and shocked.

 

“Wait.” You said quickly. He stopped in his tracks to turn back and look at you. 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“I…” You started, feeling your heart in your throat as you struggled to form the sentence you wanted to communicate. “Do you want to meet me after work?” You stuttered. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, just a thought…”

 

A moment of silence. Dreadful silence. Was he going to reject you? Fire you? Tell you to get back to work?

 

“Of course.” He said, even the mask was unable to hide the obvious excitement in his voice. “I’ll speak to you after your shift, (Y/N).”

 

You nodded, a grin threatening to split your face in two as you turned on your heel to head down to work. This short exchange had probably made you a bit tardy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, because now you had something planned. With Kylo Ren. 

 

You had never been much of a partier before. But if this was what all parties led to, you would be happy to party day in and day out for the rest of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally had the time to get this done. I have been so busy with school and work, which has made it difficult for me to update daily. I had a lot of requests for this particular story, so I hope it delivered. I feel like I haven't written smut in a while, so I am now wanting to take some requests for smut. Leave your deepest, darkest desires in the comments below, and if one of them catches my attention, I will more than likely write a oneshot on it. Thanks for all of the support and kindness, as well as the amazing requests you all keep giving me! Much love! <3


	9. Birth of a Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are heavily pregnant with your husband Kylo Ren's child. When you stumble in on an especially brutal interrogation of his, you are forced to make tough decisions to keep you and your child safe.

The stack of pancakes that was so gloriously arranged before you was dripping in maple syrup and melted butter and stacked inches high. You could barely refrain from just digging into it while you waited for Kylo to take his seat at the chair across from you. You distracted yourself by watching his tall, lithe form as he cleared the pots and pans away, and searched for glasses to fill with water for the both of you. Your husband was clad in his pajamas- training sweats and a tight black shirt that showed off his biceps and broad shoulders. Even though you had been married for over a year now, you still got butterflies in your stomach when you saw him like this- unmasked, smiling, vulnerabilities that he only let you observe. 

 

You continued to observe as he took advantage of The Force to levitate the now filled water glasses onto the table. He didn’t spill a drop, which caused you to smile in spite of yourself. He was so perfectly imperfect.

 

“You’re quiet this morning.” He mused, taking his seat across from you and squeezing your hand lightly, a gesture he used often to communicate affection. The chill of his hands calmed you, in a way. His body was always cold, but you had grown used to it. 

 

“I’m starving.” You admitted, allowing yourself to maneuver your fork around the stack of pancakes to create a piece small enough to eat. “And I was observing my husband.” You continued, around a full mouth of pancake. Sometimes you liked to call him your husband out loud, to remind yourself that it wasn’t a hallucination, and that your dreams really did come true. 

 

“And now I’m observing my wife.” He smiled. “And our soon-to-be child.They both look beautiful this morning.” 

 

You smiled, resting a hand on your now swollen stomach. The baby was due any day now, and you appreciated having Kylo’s help throughout your pregnancy. He granted you immediate administrative leave from your duties as an officer, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day, he cooked and cleaned for you, and he would even stay up with you every night until you managed to situate yourself and your stomach in a comfortable position and drift into sleep. One night, you had even caught him whispering to the child in your stomach when he thought you were asleep, telling it how he was going to be the father he had never had, and how much he loved it already, even though it hadn’t even taken its first breath. The memory brought tears to your eyes. The Kylo Ren you knew was not the man that so many feared- he was capable of love, and he would be an amazing father. 

 

“It was kicking last night. Woke me up a few times.” You yawned. 

 

Kylo snorted. “It takes after its mother. Very aggressive.”

 

“Oh, please. I have never once smashed a console in rage, Kylo.” You rolled your eyes jokingly, devouring the remainder of your breakfast before letting out a quiet laugh. 

 

“Hux’s reactions are worth the financial strain I cause every time.” He muttered smugly. Suddenly, his tone turned serious. He had obviously been pondering over something for the entirety of this meal, and he opened his mouth to finally divulge you with it. 

 

“(Y/N), I think you need to know that this child is very powerful. I can feel it.”

 

Your (Y/E/C) eyes met to clash with his dark ones. A force-sensitive child was something coveted by not only Kylo and the First Order in general, but by Leader Snoke as well. Every day since you had discovered that you were with child, you had dreaded what the next step would be. You had joined the Dark Side to be with your husband, and that was something you had to struggle with day in and day out. You had no family left. You were a toddler abandoned on Takodana, and you had known no love in your life save for the love you had for Kylo and the love you had for your unborn child. Snoke would snatch them both away from you in seconds, and that was something you wouldn’t be able to endure. 

 

“I know. I can, too.” You admitted in a whisper. “Snoke won’t take the baby away, will he?” You blurted out your worry to your husband.

 

Kylo’s eyes widened, and he hurriedly grabbed both of your hands in his, squeezing them tightly.

 

“I would never let him do that, (Y/N).” He said firmly. “Our child will belong to us.” 

 

You could hear the fear in his voice, the doubt. You knew he meant well, but both of you knew the power the Supreme Leader possessed, and not even Kylo could stop him if he wanted your child badly enough. 

 

Kylo’s comlink emitted a beeping noise. General Hux’s voice filtered in through the speaker, cold and unrelenting as usual.

 

“Commander Ren, the prisoners in holding cell two-hundred twenty seven are ready to be interrogated.” 

 

Kylo quickly scrambled to turn off his comlink, standing up from the table and running to clothe himself in his robes and mask.

 

“Kylo, is everything okay?” You dared to inquire, starting to become suspicious. Kylo had never been this eager to leave breakfast. He valued time with you more than anything. 

 

He turned around, his robe already halfway on. “Just an important work call. This should be done within the hour.” He said quickly, avoiding eye contact and continuing to dress himself.

 

You chose not to answer, taking a sip of water instead. You wondered what this was about. Kylo rarely told you details about his job, and you knew exactly why. You had come from the Light, and the things Kylo had done would be considered unspeakable to anybody who didn’t love him like you did. He was fully aware of that fact, and you almost liked being blissfully unaware. But today seemed different, like the air around you was being sucked away, and you had to struggle to breathe. 

 

Before slipping his mask over his head, Kylo walked briskly around the table and planted a gentle, fleeting kiss on your lips.

 

“Don’t worry yourself. I promise I’ll be back soon.” He whispered in your ear. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” You murmured as he slipped his mask on and fled the room, suddenly leaving you alone to ponder what could possibly be happening. 

 

You allowed yourself to stand up and clear the dishes around the table, figuring you couldn’t let Kylo do all of the work. You hobbled over to the sink with the plates, turning on the hot water and squirting some detergent in. You absentmindedly washed the dishes to distract yourself from your intrusive thoughts. It was probably just pregnancy hormones making you paranoid, you decided. That was it. 

 

Once the dishes were done and your shared quarters were in pristine condition once again, you plopped down on the couch with a book you had bought on a trip to Alderaan. It was quite interesting, actually- a biography on Padme Amidala that was very moving and well-written. You lost yourself in the pages until you were swiftly and rudely brought out of your daze by a sharp pain in your stomach. You gasped, screwing your eyes shut in pain. Minutes later, the pain in your stomach was still present, and worsening. You didn’t want to have to find Kylo in the middle of his job, but what if the baby was coming?! 

 

You could barely hold back a scream of agony as you stood up and hobbled through the door, barely managing to pull it shut behind you. The baby couldn’t be coming now. Not now. This was your first child, and you had to admit that you were terrified to give birth. You needed to make it to Kylo before it happened, if that was the situation right now. But your water hadn’t broken…. maybe it was the baby moving? You didn’t know, but you needed your spouse’s support. 

 

As you advanced down the hallway, you could hear disturbing sounds coming from the room that your husband was supposed to be in. You knew he was conducting an interrogation, but the pleading sounds you could hear sounded disturbing. Bone chilling. 

 

The two stormtroopers that stood in front of the door immediately moved aside when they saw your facial expression, and the status of being Kylo’s wife probably helped you in that regard as well. One slid open the door urgently, allowing you to step inside.

 

The crackling of Kylo’s lightsaber filled the air with heat, and a singed smell perfumed the room. A child, who couldn’t have been more than five years of age was absolutely cowering in the corner, unchained and unbound. The boy had a mop of curly blonde hair, and his doll-like eyes were spilling over with tears. He was sobbing so hard that his breaths came out in shudders and hiccups. Kylo was wordless as the boy continued to beg for his life.

 

“P-please,” he wailed. “I’m n-not a Jedi. I’m not.” His chest rose and fell rapidly, and you were paralyzed in the doorway, speechless. The stormtrooper guards had fled as soon as you entered, probably knowing that they would be in huge trouble with Kylo after letting you in here. 

 

Kylo’s lightsaber was raised high above his head, and as you opened your mouth to scream, to plead with him, to tell him that he had to spare the child’s life, he swung the saber down to meet the child’s neck. 

 

The boy’s body crumpled, sliding down, lifeless, onto the ground. You swore the boy’s eyes met with yours, betrayal and shock palpable in his final gaze. You held back the overwhelming urge to vomit as you finally let out a scream of anguish. 

 

Kylo whipped around to look at you, and even the mask couldn’t hide his shock as he stuttered out empty, empty words.

 

“(Y/N), I-” He gasped. “Who let you in here?” 

 

You felt hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you whipped around to run. Even with the extra thirty pounds you were toting, your sprinting was nothing to laugh at. The unimaginable pain you were feeling at this moment- both emotional and physical, was threatening to send you collapsing onto the ground. The only thing that kept your legs moving was the utter realization that the man you had married had just killed an innocent child, right in front of you. Your reality was crumbling around you, and your only hope now was a ship. You were a very capable pilot, a skill that you couldn’t have been more grateful for as you rounded the corner to the ship holding center. ‘

 

You sent a glance behind you- nobody, including Kylo, was anywhere to be seen. You took in ragged, shaky breaths as you slowed to a stop in front of a keypad that would allow you sanctioned departure inside the nearest TIE- fighter. 

 

Your hands shook violently as you keyed in the overhaul code that Kylo had taught you to use if the ship was in danger and you needed to evacuate. Your heart was shattered as you clumsily stumbled into the ship, pulling the entrance shut behind you with tears coursing in rivers down your cheeks. You started the engine, gunning it as soon as you had enough power and as soon as you opened the exit doors of the holding center, which exposed you to the starry sky- an oblivion that seemed to stretch out for lightyears in front of you, momentarily taking your breath away. You were leaving. You were really leaving. To where, you didn’t know. But you were really leaving Starkiller Base and your love behind. The mere thought send you into a chest-heaving sob. 

 

As you sped away, you saw the ant-sized form of Kylo on the ground far below you crumple to the floor as he noticed that you were too far gone to retrieve. How could he do this to you. You loved him, he loved you, and your unborn child. Or did he? If he could kill that child without remorse, what could he do to a defenseless infant? 

 

You were in a full-blown hysteria as you frantically continued to maneuver the ship away from the clutches of the First Order. The realization that you were now completely alone and defenseless washed over you like a tidal wave, and the throbbing pain in your stomach was worsening. Pressing the various buttons and swerving through gates and around planets was getting increasingly harder to do through teary eyes. It seemed as if every memory you had shared with your husband decided to resurface in that moment- the first time you saw him maskless, the time he dared to plant a tender kiss on your lips in the midst of a crowded corridor, your wedding, your first time, telling him you were pregnant with his child, and watching his face light up at the news that he was going to be a father. 

 

Before you knew what exactly was happening, a crunching sound and a skull-rattling force sent your ship flying sideways, and then downward. in a spiral. You shrilly screamed and desperately tried to get the ship flying again, but the assailants had shot you in the worst spot- the engine itself. The smell of burning metal and gears assaulted your nose as the force of the descent sent you flying onto the other side of the ship, head first, your pregnant body flailing like a rag doll’s. The Resistance must have seen your ship on the horizon and shot it down for their own safety. That was your last thought before you felt a drop of blood trickle down your forehead, and before your world slipped away from you as the pain became too much. 

 

 

“Get her to the infirmary ward, now.” General Leia Organa’s effeminate yet utterly commanding tone immediately sent a group of several Resistance members to the aid of the pregnant woman whose ship had been shot down. Her form slumped weakly in the arms of the two men who hoisted her upward from the wreckage, and an apparent wound in her head was leaking blood. The General’s heartstrings were pulled as she realized that even though this woman was the enemy, she was carrying a child. Leia herself remembered being pregnant with her first and only son. The pain of birth coupled with the joy of bringing her son into the world shaped her into who she was today. Now, her son was gone, and she was here to make decisions she never thought she’d have to make. She regretted being so hasty in telling the guards to shoot down the ship. What if it had been Ben, flying home? She decided that her thought was foolish, and focused her attention back to the matter at hand.

 

“Does she have a-” Leia started to ask. Pulse was the word she was going to complete the sentence with.

 

Then you woke up, gasping for air, screaming in pain. You felt an unbearable, splitting pain between your legs, and then a sensation that you determined was your water breaking. The contractions were starting. The baby was coming. You were in the arms of two men, being held up in their arms, and blood was trickling down your face. A woman who only stood about five feet tall ran towards you, and gripped your hand in hers. Normally you would pull yourself away from the touch of these people, or anyone you didn’t know, but you needed help desperately, and her touch felt so familiar, like one of a mother. 

 

You squeezed her hand as you let out a wail, feeling the men rush you away as the woman ran beside you, still holding your hand in a vice grip.

 

“Listen to me,” The woman said calmly, but firmly. “Take deep breaths in and out. You’ll survive this.” 

 

You were terrified, but you nodded, letting your eyes meet hers. The woman was older, but her beauty was apparent in her graceful features- her doe-like brown eyes and her thick, elaborately done grey hair. Her words successfully soothed you for the time being. You were grateful that you had a feminine presence beside you. 

 

“You’re going to be a mother.” The woman smiled. “Soon you’ll have a beautiful baby.” 

 

You nodded your head frantically, squeezing the woman’s hand as another contraction ripped through you, only moments apart from the last one. You were overcome with relief as you finally made it to the infirmary ward, and several medical droids began to attend to you- lying you down onto a cool metal table, one cleaning your wound, one disrobing you from the waist down, and one instructing you to open your legs. You complied, still holding the strange woman’s hand, but not minding that she was overseeing the event. You craved human interaction, and since your husband wasn’t present, she would have to do.

 

“Push.” The mechanical voice of the droid demanded.

 

You contracted your stomach and pushed, a banshee-like wail of anguish escaping your throat. 

 

“Agh, I can’t!” You cried. 

 

“Yes, you can. You’re strong.” The woman insisted. “Push again.”

 

You pushed once more, feeling your stomach muscles virtually ripping from your ribs. Your eyes rolled back into your head from the sheer pain. You didn’t even know if you were close, and you were likely close to breaking this woman’s hand with how hard you were squeezing.

 

“One more push should do it. The cranium has exited the birth canal.” The droid spoke once more.

 

Sweat dripped down your face, mixed with tears of anguish. You curled your toes, preparing to give one final push, to exhaust all of your efforts. You yelled so loudly that you wouldn’t be surprised if the entire galaxy could hear you, and you contracted your stomach one last time. You could feel something exiting you, ripping your lower body apart, and immense pain as you let out a sob.

 

Then you heard it, a tiny, fierce wail. Never had any sound radiated through your ears so beautifully. 

 

The woman beside you gasped, letting go of your hand to sever the umbilical cord and accept the child, quickly handing it to you to lay on your heaving chest.

 

“It’s a beautiful baby girl.” The woman was beaming, as a mother would for her child. This woman had just met you, and she cared about you. The very thought lit up your heart, even through your pain. 

 

As your cradled your very own child in your hands, you let out a choked sob. She was radiant. She has Kylo’s beautiful black hair and full lips, and your petite little nose. Tears streamed down your cheeks, one dropping to land on your squalling newborn’s chest.

 

“Imara..” You murmured. “Imara Padme is her name…” 

 

“That’s beautiful.” The woman’s eyes filled with tears as she beheld you and your child. “I can clean her up for you, if you’d like.” 

 

You nodded, handing your child over gently to her, already missing her presence in your arms. How could you love a human being this much already?

 

As your daughter was being cleaned up, you allowed your body to relax as the medical droids cleaned you up and applied ointments and salves to any distressed areas. You felt ready to fall asleep at any second, and soon, you succumbed to your own drowsiness, reclining in sleep on the birthing table.

 

In the other room, Leia gently bathed the newborn, and wrapped it in a smooth silk blanket. The child looked so much like Ben when he was born. She wondered who this woman was, and if she ever saw her son during her time in the First Order. 

 

“The woman is my wife.” 

 

Leia was lucky she didn’t drop the baby in that moment, as she spun around, gripping the infant for dear life as she stared her own baby boy in the face for the first time in fifteen years. She felt tears escape her eyes, unbidden. He was a man now, and he towered over her. He was beautiful, just like his father, but his gaze simmered with hatred, fear. 

 

“Ben.” She whispered. “How?”

 

“My name isn’t Ben, you’re holding my daughter, and you have my wife.” He said coldly, yet his voice shook as he broke eye contact to stare at the floor beneath him. Leia moved closer. “Where is (Y/N)?!” He demanded, making Leia stop short and sending the infant into a crying fit. 

 

“She’s in the next room. Do you want to hold your daughter?” Leia asked calmly, trying to mask her own emotions after being without her son for so long, and finding out that this baby was her granddaughter. She resisted the urge to take him into her arms and kiss him like she used to when he was a toddler. But no amount of purposeful concealment could hide how her voice shook when she extended the infant out to him, a peace offering. 

 

He cautiously accepted the crying infant, wordlessly, pressing her gently to his chest, stopping her wails. Leia could have sworn she saw something change in his eyes at that moment- the darkness looked as if it melted away, penetrated by the undeniable light. 

 

“Her name is Imara. Imara Padme.” 

 

A single tear traveled down his cheek. 

 

“Please, I need to see her.” He whispered. Leia nodded, ushering her long lost son into the birthing room, where you rested, asleep. 

 

Kylo ran to you, gripping your hand in his while still holding your infant daughter. Your eyes fluttered open at the unexpected touch, and they filled with tears upon beholding your husband, who you honestly though you would never see again after this day. You were ashamed to admit that even after all that he had done, you wanted to take him into your arms right now and pretend it never happened. He gently handed you the baby, and you accepted. 

 

“Kylo…” You whispered, cradling Imara. 

 

“(Y/N). I love you. I am so sorry.” He sputtered, a mess of nerves and adrenaline after finally seeing you again. “I thought I had lost you. I thought I had lost our family.”

 

You gripped his hand tightly in yours, closing your eyes, but whispering in answer. 

 

“No, we’re here.” You answered quietly. “I’m glad we’re here…” 

 

“You have to forgive me,” Kylo pleaded, his lower lip quivering slightly. “I can make this right for us. I promise you.” 

 

“Okay.” You smiled tiredly. “I trust you….” You remembered that forgiving the one you loved was about inner strength and compassion, as you had always been taught. 

 

Kylo beheld you, wondering to himself what he had ever done to deserve you. He had taken lives of men, women, and children everywhere. He had tortured, he had stolen, and he had still been able to have you. He decided now was his time to prove he deserved you and his child. He stood up. 

 

“Mother, can we stay?”

 

Both you and Leia gasped simultaneously. 

 

Leia launched herself into Kylo’s arms, and you let out a noise that was half a laugh and half a sob. You knew there was light in him somewhere, and now you had all finally found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, did I work hard on this one. This was a really great request that was brought to my attention a while ago, and I decided to write it how I felt inspired to write it! It ended up turning a little fluffy at the end, which just felt natural to me. Tell me how you like! It makes my day to see every comment, honestly. <3


	10. Jealous Kylo Ren Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few headcanons on the subject of a Jealous!Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are some headcanons to hold you all over before my next smut is published. Jealous!Kylo was requested a LOT. I hope I delivered. Tell me what you thought, and expect another installment of this oneshot compilation in your feed soon ;)

JEALOUS KYLO HEADCANONS:

 

•Kylo wasn’t the type of child that shared his toys, and that stubborn trait followed him into adulthood. When he first laid eyes upon you, you were chatting in a rather animated fashion with General Hux. For reasons even he couldn’t rationalize, he felt an overwhelming urge to rip the General limb from limb. He settled for separating the two of you by lying to Hux instead, saying Snoke requested an “urgent audience” with him, and smirking behind his mask in satisfaction as the redhead hurried away. He wanted to be the one to get to you first. He wanted you to laugh at him, to rely on him, even to fear him a little. But the shy smile he got in response to the two of you being alone satiated his desires at that moment.

 

•One day, while you were taking a break in the cafeteria of the ship, a group of the younger, more reckless stormtroopers decided to yell various taunts about your body, not knowing that their Commander was loitering in the far corner of the room (watching you eat, no doubt). As soon as he saw the raspberry-red flush of humiliation spread up your neck and face, he ever so lightly flicked his hand upward, clenching it tightly, yet subtly. The ringleader of the group began to (quite literally) choke on his words. Ren waited for a while until the others in the group were frantically begging the others in the lounge for help, and he could feel the man’s life force on the verge of draining, and then he allowed him to writhe and gasp for oxygen, relishing how pathetic he looked as he shuddered and sobbed. Turning to look for you so he could tell you that he would make certain no man bothered you in that way again, his eyes met with nothing. You had already fled the room. 

 

•During your rougher sex nights, Kylo will pound you into the mattress, grinding his hips harshly into yours and holding both of your arms over your head in a vice grip. “Look at me.” He’ll growl between kisses. “Look me in the eyes. Tell me you’re mine.” You oblige, and that always brings a tiny smile to his face. “That’s right.” He’ll whisper into your neck. “You’re my little pet, nobody else’s. Only I get to see you like this, so willing to take me in.” 

 

•Upon prying inside Hux’s mind, Kylo finds a few select things he would rather erase from his head, involving you. Instead of telling you, he instead always makes sure to embrace you in the hallways when he senses Hux, letting his hand drift to your lower back and posterior as he clashes eyes with the General, his expression screaming “Don’t touch what I own.” He takes pleasure in seeing Hux’s face grow red in anger and frustration. 

 

•You can tell when Kylo gets jealous before he even knows it himself. There are a few telltale signs- when you are talking to a male officer, the air around you seems to crackle with electricity. If he’s in your immediate field of view, you can see him clenching and unclenching his fists, and the breathing behind his mask grows heavier and more labored. In extraordinary cases, he’ll go so far as to virtually drag you away from the scene, your short legs stumbling to keep up with his long ones as he scrambles to decide how to prove to you how much better he is than any other man. 

 

•Whenever you mention a male in passing, Kylo tenses. He’ll try (and fail) to ask as nonchalantly as possible questions such as “How much weight do you think he can lift?” or “Do you think he’s powerful enough to face off against his commander?” or even a plain “Is he attractive to you?” just so he can scan your mind for thoughts you may try and hide from him. So far, you haven’t thought anyone to be above him, and you haven’t noticed that Kylo pries inside when he’s insecure. 

 

•One day, he shocks you by asking you to wear one of his training shirts, just to “See how it looks”. You try it on to humor him, and his expression is like a tangible reward. He wraps his arms tightly around you, and oh so cautiously whispers into your ear the following sentence:

 

“You should wear my clothes all the time. I want everyone to know you’ve been in my room, and I want everyone to know your beauty belongs to the Commander of Starkiller Base.” 

He places a tender kiss on your lips before smacking your ass in a possessive haze. “Remember that yourself as well, darling.”


	11. Warming Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are tasked with locating an injured Kylo Ren, and he issues a request that you can't deny.

Kylo Ren had been defeated.

 

At least, that’s what the whispers in the halls of Starkiller Base implied. The news had traveled throughout the ranks- and everyone from General Hux to the most meager stormtrooper had heard it. The rumors indicated that his defeat had been at the hands of some scavenger girl native to Jakku. And now- per the orders of General Hux- you were to go and find him. 

 

You and Kylo Ren were not a couple, and you probably never would be. But you did frequent his quarters quite often, and he yours. The both of you had agreed at the very start of your “relationship” that there were to be no strings attached. No feelings, no expectations, no nothing. Just rough, meaningless sex, which suited the both of you quite well.

 

Until now. When Hux relayed the orders to you and handed you the tracker that he kept on Ren’s belt, you felt something twitch inside of you. A feeling you hadn’t felt for a long time. You were scared for Kylo, and you knew it. The frigid, unrelenting snowstorms on this planet would kill him if he was exposed for too long, so you hurriedly accepted the tracker and pushed your feelings to the side so you could focus on the task at hand.

 

As you tugged winter clothing onto your body and shoved a cloak into your backpack for Kylo to wear, should he need it, Hux’s words ran on a loop through your mind.

 

“You’re the only one that he’ll allow to carry him back to base. He’d kill anyone else who attempted to touch him.” 

 

You knew it was true, and it filled you with a strange pride. The Knight cared about you, even if he’d never admit it. Even if your interactions mainly consisted of fucks and cuddles, you could gather that Ren wasn’t exactly caring and sentimental in nature, and any human he ended up forming attachments with must be very, very singular. 

 

Less than ten minutes later, you were fully equipped and situated inside a First Order issued ship that was suitable for covering the harsh winter terrain. Being a sought-after pilot, it didn’t take you very long to identify the controls of the thing before you sped away from the stormtroopers and ebony-clad generals, and away from Base. You loved these rare moments of freedom, but you were under intense pressure. Hux had impressed upon you before leaving (in a hushed tone, to avoid sending surrounding workers into panic) that you didn’t have much time before Starkiller Base would rupture from the damage the Resistance had done to its inner workings. You were tasked to find Kylo, and to bring him back before that happened. Truthfully, you should be anxious, but you were only concerned. You knew Kylo’s ego would probably be more wounded than his body, and that would be a whole new task to deal with.

 

You shot a glance to the tracker Hux had given you- a small screen with a blinking red light that indicated where Kylo’s body was at this very moment. You were getting closer and closer, snow-covered pines and mountains blurring together outside your window from the sheer speed you were travelling at. In the distance, a clump of black- clashing brazenly against the snow- caught your eye. Your heart nearly skipped a beat as you slowed the vehicle to a stop, jumping out of it to face the cold and to face what could only be Kylo Ren. 

 

The chill that pummeled your skin as your feet made contact with the snow-covered ground paled in comparison to the chill you felt in your bones as you inched closer to survey him. Never in your time in the First Order had you seen your commander- a man who was at least six feet and three inches in height- looking so frail, so small. He was splayed out, his chest rising and falling heavily as he gasped for breath. You could see crimson dots in the snow beside him, no doubt from a wound in his side. The most shocking was a scar on his face- which would likely be permanent, and almost definitely resulted from a slash of the scavenger’s lightsaber. Your heart cracked inside your chest, it seemed. You felt overwhelming pity for him, projecting strength was something he held so dear, and now he had been wounded by an untrained Jedi- probably one of his worst fears. 

 

You ran over to him, kneeling beside him on the ground, and gripping one of his characteristically large hands in the both of yours. His eyes fluttered open, meeting your (Y/E/C) orbs in a haze of dark brown. Your heart jumped in hope, but you couldn’t help but realize how cold he was. You needed to get him back to Base as soon as possible. 

 

“How did you find me?” He croaked, his voice raspy, but still laced with the confidence it was always laced with. The tone of his voice always made you blush, and now was (shamefully) no different. You cleared your throat to put yourself back in the zone before answering his question. 

 

“Hux gave me your tracker.” You breathed, urgency and the utter relief of finding Kylo making your voice tremble and quicken into a slur of rapidly spoken words. “But we need to get back to Base, right now. If we don’t we’ll-”

 

Before you knew what was happening, you felt his lips on yours- roughly, forcefully. How he managed to prop himself up, you couldn’t fathom, but you didn’t care. His tongue made its way into your mouth, intertwining with yours, and whatever was happening around you seemed to halt. You couldn’t help but notice that his lips were soft and pillowy, even after being out here for who knows how long. How did he do that??

 

“We’re not leaving until you warm me up.” He said huskily, yanking you by the hand, and situating your body so your legs were straddling his pelvis, all on one smooth movement. You could feel his erection even through his thick robes, and you had to admit it turned you on. But concern and attention to duty won over in the moment as you surveyed the scar on his face.

 

“What about your injuries? Kylo, we need to get back before-”

 

He cut you off once more with a kiss, biting your lip this time. The coppery taste of blood filled your mouth as you groaned in pleasure. He knew what you liked, and he was using it against you. 

 

“You’d do well to stop talking so much, (Y/N).” He murmured, moving his hips below yours, and causing your legs to weaken as you felt him brush against your entrance. “Now are you going to have me, or will I have to make you?” 

 

This time, you shut him up with a kiss, hastily undoing the lower part of your robes, exposing a minimal (but sufficient) amount of skin to the cold. He growled in pleasure, quickly moving you to undo his own robes, and revealing himself to you. It was impressive, the fact that he was still so capable, even after being injured. You felt a tinge of guilt as you moved yourself onto him, but all the guilt was replaced by glee as you felt him slide inside of you. He had insisted on this, after all. And this would be effective at warming him up. Anything for your commander…

 

His grunt of pleasure was musical. You moved your hips at a steady pace, draping your body over his so he could share some of your body heat. Below you, Kylo closed his eyes, and murmured your name. 

 

“You’re so damn tight.” He hissed, thrusting his own hips to hit the back wall of your core. You squealed in shock and arousal as he used his teeth to sharply bite the exposed skin on your neck as well. He was asserting his typical dominance, even in his current state. You giggled lustfully, continuing to ride him and you planted a kiss on his scar before you spoke again, barely above a whisper. 

 

“Warming up?’ 

 

He inhaled briskly, digging his nails further into your hips. “Not enough. Keep moving, kitten.” His breathing quickened, and you hoped it was from arousal and not pain. His hands went from your hips to all around your torso, caressing and brushing over every area, making you feel as if you had been electrified. His use of your pet name sent you further into your sex-induced daze, and you began to move your hips faster. He moaned. 

 

You loved that he was so… vocal this time around. Rarely ever did you top, and it was even rarer than that to even hear a grunt from Kylo, much less a moan. He was normally whispering dirty talk in your ear, or threatening to shut you up if you yourself didn’t stop whimpering. You felt yourself approaching the brink, but you couldn’t stop. Not yet.

 

You felt Kylo move himself quite viciously, hitting your G-spot, and making you moan audibly. You thanked the Force that nobody was around right now to hear the obscene sounds exiting your mouth. 

 

You persisted through the temptation to orgasm by riding him even more zealously. He was losing grip too, you could feel it. 

 

“I’m not coming first.” He grunted defiantly as if he had read your mind, snapping his hips upward as you slowed your pace. 

 

“Is that a challenge?” You whispered brazenly as you kissed his cheek. 

 

The flash of mischief and hunger in his eyes indicated that he was going to play dirty to get what he wanted. Your suspicions were confirmed as his lips met with your ear before whispering ever so softly into it, chills coursing up and down your spine that were not from the cold.

 

“Answer me this.” His voice was silk. “When I make you come, are you going to scream my name in that pretty little voice of yours, or are you going to deny me that pleasure? I’m planning to find out.” 

 

Your own body betrayed you as his words and the slight movement of his groin sent you over the edge. Your body shuddered and then relaxed on top of his, after a loud moan exited your lips. 

 

“Kylo…” You sighed.

 

He finished shortly after, as you felt his climax fill you with warmth. He closed his eyes for a few brief, silent moments, taking everything in, no doubt. You allowed yourself to do the same. 

 

“I’m warmed up now.” He said quietly, smugly. You rolled your eyes, searching your mind for what you were going to tell Hux when you and Kylo arrived back at Starkiller Base, a half hour later than anticipated, disheveled, and reeking of sex.

 

But as you felt the man below you plant a tender kiss on your neck, you were finding it very, very difficult to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First smut I've written in a while. I got a request for this one, and it really stuck with me. You guys are amazing at inspiring me and thinking up prompts and requests! I was literally almost crying reading your supportive comments on my works today. To be honest, I thought I was a shit writer, but my love for Kylo is so strong, I just had to create this fic ;P You guys have made me so happy by commenting. MAKES MY DAY <3 keep up the feedback. I love you all.


	12. The Only One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren becomes jealous of a relationship between you and an ex-lover aboard the Finalizer. {Request}

Waking up for work was always arduous for you, and this particular morning was no different. As your alarm beeped in its usual abrasive cadence, Kylo’s arms seemed to close tighter around your torso. You felt his chest vibrate as he groaned in disdain, lazily jerking his hand to effectively stop the alarm without touching it.

 

You could feel a loose strand from the mane of ebony hair above you tickling your cheek as he leaned to whisper into the shell of your ear. 

 

“You know, I’m the commander of this base, and I’ve decided that I’m relieving you of your duties this morning, Lieutenant.” 

 

Your back was turned to him, and your eyes were still shut, trying to “sleep” as much as you could get away with before walking out the door. Despite that, you just knew he was smirking. His dark brown eyes were probably dancing with mischief, and you wanted nothing more than to roll over and kiss his stupidly perfect face, but you had missed work for two days in a row already, and you knew that General Hux would catch on to the fact that his co-commander and valued Lieutenant were constantly missing.

 

“I appreciate that, but I can’t miss another day of work.” You sighed, gently removing yourself from the warmth of Kylo’s arms and shivering as your feet made contact with the floor. You turned back to look at him, and the sight of his lean but muscular body sprawled all across the sheets made you want to jump right back into bed and… 

 

You stopped yourself, leaning down to plant a gentle, chaste kiss on his forehead instead. If you did anything more, you would end up very, very late for work. You felt him smile as your lips made contact with his skin, which was surprisingly warm. 

 

“I suppose if you’re going, I’ll have to go, also.” He whispered aggravatedly. You couldn’t blame him for not wanting to work- the job was stressful, and his colleagues either hated him, feared him, or laughed at him behind his back. It must make for a lonely day, which was probably why he wanted you to stay with him so badly. 

 

You nodded as you crossed the room to gather your uniform, quickly pulling the varying garments over your body, and throwing your (Y/H/C) hair into a messy updo. 

 

“Starkiller Base needs its commander.” You smiled. “I’m sure the past two days have made everyone on board extremely stressed, especially when they’re being led by a stiff asshole like Hux.” You giggled lightly as the last part exited your mouth.It was true, Hux was a jerk, and you knew that Kylo would be more motivated if you bashed his counterpart. It just made him tick, and you didn’t even know why. 

 

“Hux is an incompetent fool.” Kylo rolled out of bed and started to dress himself as he spoke. “He is constantly belittling me. I could kill him with a flick of my wrist, yet he still tries to cross me every time we meet.” He cursed under his breath as he almost tripped over a loose piece of fabric in his distracted fury. What a dork. The Kylo Ren others knew could definitely kill Hux with a flick of his wrist, but the Kylo you knew wasn’t quite that terrifying. His cheeks flushed a little as he noticed you snickering at his blunder. 

 

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m being serious.” He sighed, almost completely dressed now, except for his mask and hood. 

 

You walked over to him, standing on your tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips before he could hide himself in that mask he always wore. He kissed you back, roughly and longingly like he always did. It took you a minute or so before you could pull away enough to get a good breath. The two of you stood, facing each other, with only the sound of your breathing filling the air.

 

“Just remember who you are and what you can do.” You said quietly, squeezing his hand in yours for support. “Then nobody can ridicule you.” 

 

He squeezed your hand back before pulling away to slide into the mask and cloak. His eyes seemed to be swimming with something- an emotion that looked like realization mixed with confusion. Contentment mixed with fear. It disturbed you enough for you to step back ever so slightly. 

 

“You need to leave before I do.” He said, his voice now mechanical. “I’ll see you later tonight, Lieutenant (Y/N).” 

 

You nodded, making sure you looked presentable before sliding out the door, looking both ways before you did so, to avoid prying eyes. You and Kylo had been seeing each other for months now- but to avoid people thinking either of you two would put the fate of the First Order in jeopardy for a relationship, you decided to keep it a secret. At times, you just wanted to yell it from the rooftops, but other times it truly came in handy to have such a concealed life. 

 

As you started to walk towards your station, you became lost in your own thoughts. You were a little anxious to begin work again after being absent. You wondered if General Hux would inquire where you had been. You started to form excuses in your mind, just in case he did ask. Would “I had a virus” a suitable excuse in this case, you wondered?

 

“Hey! (Y/N)!! Is that you?” You heard a man’s voice from further down the hallway, baritone yet humorous, and close behind you. It was ever so familiar to you, and you knew you had heard it before. You stopped walking and turned around to meet whoever this may be, and you nearly gasped when you took in who this man was.

 

“Leo? Leo Traveis?” You dared to whisper. You couldn’t believe that you were staring your ex lover and close friend in the eyes. You could have sworn that you would never see him again, as you two had separated before your postsecondary adventures. The reason for the split was that Leo was planning to work under Leia Organa, and you couldn’t follow that path. Your parents had bred you to follow the commands of the First Order until your dying breath, and all of your life had been devoted to this cause. You wouldn’t let a boy from secondary get in the way of your dreams, but you couldn’t help but be curious about what changed his mind. 

 

“That’s Lieutenant Traveis, now.” He laughed, pulling you in for a hug. You reciprocated, appreciative of the gesture. You smiled at him after you both pulled away, all the memories you two shared rushing back to you. It was great to see your friend was alive and well after not hearing from him for so long. 

 

“What brought you to the First Order?” You asked, trying to veil your surprise and miserably failing. 

 

“Long story. Want to get lunch with me today so I can tell it to you?” His green eyes shone with genuine happiness. He seemed just as relieved to see you as you were to see him.

 

You nodded in agreement before having a second thought. You glanced at your watch, cursing under your breath. 

 

“Shit, I’m going to be late.” You muttered.

 

“Division Two is where you work, correct?” 

 

You nodded. 

 

“Me too.” He beamed. “I’ll walk you there.” 

 

You couldn’t help but smile as you two continued on your path to work, swapping stories. Leo really did know how to make you laugh, you had to admit. Even upon separating to go to your individual desks, you still had a joyous air about you. 

 

You set to work on some statistics, grateful that Hux was nowhere in sight. Walking in with Leo had helped you avoid a tardiness citation, you realized.

 

As you continued to work throughout the day, you wondered how Kylo was doing. You hadn’t seen him all day, and lunch was fast approaching. He was so worked up about his job today, and you hadn’t seen Hux yet, either. Maybe they had been in audience with the Supreme Leader?

 

“Ready to eat?” 

 

You smiled at Leo, who must have made his way to your desk while you were in thought. You figured you should probably stop dazing so much. 

 

“Yeah.” You smiled, pulling your lunch out from under your desk, and then standing up, brushing off your uniform. “I can’t wait to hear your transition story.” 

 

He smiled as well, leading the way to the lunch room. The two of you selected a small metal table and sat down across from each other. You began to eat the salad you had packed, admittedly starving from the day’s work. 

 

“Well.” He sighed. “Where do I start? I was so set on working for Organa for so long, but then when I finally applied for a position, I-”

 

He stopped suddenly, a quizzical look on his face. He snickered a little. He was looking directly at you, and you felt your face grow hot with embarrassment. 

 

“What?” You asked, quickly searching your teeth with your tongue in case there was food in between any of your teeth that may have caused him to laugh. 

 

“You have something on your face.” He chuckled, moving closer to you. “Here, let me just..” His hand moved gently to brush a stray strand of hair away from your cheek, and then lingered on your cheekbone. 

 

For a second, you just looked at each other. There was utter silence between the two of you, but your mind was practically screaming. Leo didn’t still have feelings for you, did he? You scanned his green orbs for emotion, and pulled your eyes away from his, all in one split second. You loved Kylo. you didn’t feel what you used to feel for Leo, and you needed to tell him that before it escalated. 

 

“Lieutenant (Y/N).” The familiar yet utterly terrifying baritone of Kylo Ren’s synthesized voice caused you to tear away from Leo’s grip. Leo himself automatically straightened up, his face reddened with a combination of fear and slight embarrassment at being seen touching a colleague. “Come with me.” You could hear his fury from beneath his mask, and you were suddenly rendered speechless from fear.

 

Leo piped up, in an effort to save you from what looked like certain death at this point. 

 

“Commander Ren, I-” 

 

“Don’t speak.” Kylo growled, yanking you by the arm away from the table. You winced in pain and humiliation as you noticed everyone occupying the lunchroom was staring at the unfolding spectacle. Leo silenced himself instantaneously, looking at the ground in shame. 

 

Within seconds, Kylo had pulled you out of the lunchroom and into the halls. 

 

“You’re hurting me, Kylo.” You pleaded as he all but dragged you down the hallway towards his room. His grip would probably leave bruises tomorrow. 

 

He didn’t answer, he only tightened his grip until the both of you eventually came to the door of his bedroom. It slid open with a wave of his hand, and he shoved you inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

You fell to the floor, the wind knocked out of you for a second. You gasped for breath as Kylo tore his mask off and threw it to the ground, exposing his face. He was panting for breath, and he looked furious, but he also looked hurt. You heart sunk as you realized exactly what he must have thought. 

 

“Kylo, I can explain.” You said quietly, standing yourself upright. 

 

He shot you a glare that stopped you in your tracks. 

 

“By all means, do it then.” He spat. “Tell me why that man- a newly hired Lieutenant- was touching you so blatantly in front of all the notable workers on the Finalizer. Go ahead. Explain.” His voice was breathless, but it held a bite to it that showed that he wasn’t taking this lightly.

 

“He was an old friend from secondary. It was a misunderstanding on his part. He has feelings for me, and I didn’t ask to be touched.” You scrambled to form a coherent sentence in your shock and fear. Kylo clenched his fists together and then let his hands relax, his dominant one reflexively drifting towards his lightsaber. You bristled in fear.

 

“Not just an old friend. A previous lover.” His eyes scanned yours, his voice was a deadly quiet. He began to pace around the room, shoving his things off of his desk in anger. You shuddered as a glass fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

 

“How did you-” You started to ask, but then stopped. Kylo’s powers reached far beyond levitation of objects. He had intruded into your mind and your private thoughts. Without your consent.

 

“You mind-probed me.” You gasped. “You went into my head, Kylo.”

 

He whipped around, causing you to scramble backwards to keep a safe distance from the storm of a man standing in front of you. 

 

“What else was I supposed to do, (Y/N)?!” He yelled, causing tears to prickle at your eyes as you looked down to the ground. “I had to know if you felt the same way. I had to know if you intended on just leaving me for someone else. Someone like him.” His voice continued to rise until he was almost screaming his words. “I needed to know if someone could just snatch what’s mine away from me.” 

 

You looked up again to meet his eyes. They were glistening with angry tears, and he looked away as soon as you two made eye contact, his hands drifting away from his lightsaber and falling at his sides in a resigned manner that made your heart break.

 

Without a second thought, you swiftly closed the distance between your two bodies and wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could physically manage. You felt his shoulders tense and then relax as he slowly exhaled and brought his hands to wrap around your torso. 

 

“I’m sorry.” His whisper barely made it to your ears. Kylo never apologized, not ever. Not for destroying worlds, consoles, emotions, nothing. This was the first time that you had ever heard him utter the two words in the same sentence before, and you were quite honestly shocked. 

 

“Thank you.” Was all you managed to choke out. 

 

The silence between the two of you extended a little longer as you just stayed within the embrace of one another, enjoying the shared warmth. 

 

“You know that you are the only one, right?” You whispered. It was the truth, and you didn’t even care if he went into your mind to dig in order to make sure. You had nothing to hide now, in this moment. 

 

“Am I?” Kylo’s chest vibrated against you as he spoke up, a bit louder than a whisper. 

 

“You are. I promise.”

 

You felt him place a kiss on the crown of your head before he spoke again, his voice calmer, more content, and more assured than it had been only moments ago. 

 

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Valentine's Day to all you lovebugs <3\. I hope you like this jealous!Kylo fic. It was a great request that really sparked my inspiration. Comments make my day ;)


	13. The Light In His Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you are lost in a battle, how will Kylo react? {Request}

“I won’t let you.” 

 

Kylo’s voice was demanding, intimidating, even. It shook with emotion, and you turned from the mirror you were combing your hair in front of to meet eyes with your partner. This had come out of the left field, but you knew exactly what he was referring to. You inhaled slowly, preparing to tell Kylo exactly what you thought in as firm yet as delicate of a manner as possible. You noticed how his hands were stiffly at his sides, balled into fists. His knuckles were white, and his jawline was clenched, all typical angry mannerisms you had come to observe. 

 

“For the last time, Kylo, I am going on the mission with you, and that is final. I’ve consulted with both Captain Phasma and General Hux, and they have not only cleared me to go, they have urged me to go.” You maintained eye contact with him as you spoke, watching his eyes widen as you defied his previous command. Kylo was very protective of you, you had known that from the start. He rarely allowed you to go on missions, especially dangerous ones like the one in question, but you had been training aboard the Finalizer for as long as you could remember. The missions he allowed you to go on didn’t satisfy your urge to make a difference, to be a hero in battle. “It’s not a matter of you letting me do anything. I already informed them that I would be going, so you’ll see me on that ship with you at two o’clock this afternoon.” 

 

“Withdraw your acceptance of the mission, or I’ll go to Hux myself and make him do it.” Kylo’s voice was rigid and cold. He inched closer to you. You flinched a little, and for a horrible instant, you thought he was going to hit you as he moved his arm from his side.

 

His arm moved- not to hit you, but to encase your hand in his. It was gentle and soft, and the contact soothed your mood. You had thought this might turn into an ugly yelling fight, and you were relieved that it didn’t seem to be going down that road. You looked at to see that his eyes had softened a little.

 

“(Y/N).” He spoke so softly, it almost had a lulling effect on you. “Please listen to me.”

 

“Kylo.” You spoke, not defensively, but in a tone that indicated that you were firm on your decision. You squeezed his hand gently to show your support. “I have worked so hard for this moment. I know I’m capable. You know I’m capable. Please, just let me go. You and I will be in the same vicinity the entire time.” 

 

You wanted to go so badly. You would be going no matter what. The plea to Kylo was only for his blessing, not his permission. You watched his eyes scan your face, and you watched him look down, your hand still in his. 

 

He looked back up again after a brief moment of mental debate to address you. 

 

“You can go.” He started, inhaling shakily. “But you must be in my sight at all times, do you hear me? No running off, and you need to be armed adequately.” 

 

You threw your arms around him, giggling like a schoolgirl.You were finally able to leave on this mission. You were going to prove that you were a hero, that you could battle with any man, despite your stature and status. The thought fulfilled you on more than a mental level. 

 

Kylo tightened his grip around you. You couldn’t see it, but he had allowed himself a small (and rare) smile as well. He was still terrified and anxious about you leaving on such a dangerous mission, but he was overjoyed to see you so happy, and he couldn’t hide the expression. 

 

“Do you understand me, (Y/N)?” He said, a little more firmly this time. “Promise me you’ll stay where I can see you.” 

 

You pulled away from the hug, brushing off your uniform and nodding your head in answer. “I promise.”

 

“Now go and get dressed.” Kylo breathed. “We have only a few hours until we’ll be needed on the ship. Don’t forget your blaster and your cloak. The weather will be cold.” 

 

You ran out of the bathroom, giggling wildly with the utter glee you were feeling at this moment. You were on cloud nine as you threw your clothes on and searched the room for your blaster.

 

All the while, Kylo was observing you, his dark eyes following your every movement around the room. He didn’t comprehend how anyone could be this joyous all the time, as he himself usually only knew anger or neutrality. He recalled Hux asking him after an audience with the Supreme Leader- in a baffled tone- how in the world a woman who seemed to be the human embodiment of the light could be so attracted to his darkness. It was meant to be a hard-hitting insult, Kylo knew, but it only made him ask the same question of himself, over and over again. 

 

“Ooff.” You grunted as you tried to pull your cloak over your head with one hand, while your other carefully gripped the blaster. You were currently trying to stick your head into an arm opening. Kylo bit his lip to keep a chuckle at bay as he strode over to you and gently took the cloak from you. He then slipped it over your head graciously, and then allowed himself to laugh after you were fully clothed. 

 

His laughter died, though, as you struck a fighter’s pose, blaster pointed at the far wall, and legs braced for impact. It hit him that you looked like a real fighter, and that there was no going back- you were leaving on this mission no matter how dangerous it would be. His stomach turned, and he suddenly felt as if he was going to be sick. 

 

“How do I look?” You inquired, spinning in a circular rotation so he could get a full view of your outfit. 

 

He cleared his throat, trying to level his voice so it would contain the least emotion possible. 

 

“You look terrifying. Which is good.” 

 

You laughed. “Well you look terrifying, too. It’ll probably be worse when you have the mask on, though.” 

 

Kylo nodded, taking the mask off of its designated area on his desk and slipping it over his head. 

 

“Now do I look sufficiently terrifying?” His automated voice sent a chill up your spine.

 

You nodded. “If I was the enemy, I’d run for cover.” 

 

“Then run.” Kylo lunged towards you in a mock battle stance, laughing as you scampered across the room, giggling. 

 

“Come get me!” You taunted, quickly throwing your blaster out of the way and arming yourself with a pillow instead. “But only if you want the wrath of your bed pillow.”

 

Kylo started to walk very quickly towards you, and when he got within a few feet of your body, you swung the pillow to meet with his stomach. 

 

Unaffected, he ripped the pillow out of your hands, and threw it to the ground. You squealed in shock, and turned to run away, but his long arms snagged you before you could move more than two steps. He pulled you in close, and then shoved both of your bodies into the bed. 

 

You started to really giggle, and tried to squirm out of his grip, but you only succeeded in making him hold you tighter. He really was stronger than he looked- which was pretty damn strong. You buried your face into his chest, inhaling the scent of a crisp winter with a hint of musk. 

 

“Surrender, imbecile.” He commanded through his mask. You could tell he was holding back laughter as he did so, and it made you smile. 

 

“Nope. Looks like you’ll have to hold me here forever. What a travesty.” You sighed mockingly. 

 

Kylo tore his mask off, still pinning you down with just as much force. Your eyes met his before he leaned down to kiss your lips gently.

 

You smiled into the kiss, allowing your tongue to explore his mouth before he pulled away. 

 

“I love you.” He said. His voice was shaking, and it was so so quiet, almost as if he couldn’t believe that he was saying it. His eyes scanned yours, and as he saw your expression, he spoke up, louder this time. “I love you, (Y/N).” 

 

“I love you too, Kylo.” You answered, your heart filling with warmth. Your stomach jumped as you hugged him closer. “I really do.”

 

Your bodies stayed there, intertwined on the bed, breathing filling the air, and emotions making the atmosphere sizzle with a sort of electricity. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Something on the ship was making a rattling sound, and it was the only thing filling your ears as you and Kylo stood, side by side, in silence. His breathing through his mask was silent- but audible enough for you to register, indicating that he was just as nervous as you were. Your hands slightly trembled as you gripped your blaster with white knuckles, trying to remind yourself of the end game- the reward of being seen as worthy. The pride of saying you completed a dangerous mission. The satisfaction of being self-reliant. 

 

You exhaled as the ship came to a rough land, the rattling sound stopping altogether from the impact. 

 

“Squadron seven-nine-one-eight-zero, in line.” Kylo barked, powering on his lightsaber, which lit the ship up in crimson. 

 

All at once, the squadron saluted and filed into formation. You straightened up and unsheathed your blaster, more than ready to leave the ship. As the doors opened, you and Kylo stepped off the ship first, followed by the stormtroopers.

 

Instantly, you were greeted by a myriad of bullets and the sounds of screaming villagers. People were frantically running left and right, and enemies were falling just as fast. Blood was spilling in pools on the ground, staining the sandy surface a sticky, clumping brown. You ducked to just barely avoid a flying bullet, gasping in shock as you almost fell onto the ground. 

 

You managed to stay by Kylo’s side as he swung his lightsaber, swiftly disarming an enemy fighter. You quickly snapped back into battle mode after covering from the initial shock of being there, and then adrenaline took over. 

 

You fired off your blaster swiftly and thrice, promptly disarming three men who were headed straight for you. High on the thrill of battle, you didn’t think of your promise to stay beside Kylo, and you drifted away by a few yards as you got caught up in the indescribable feeling of watching opponents drop like flies every time you squeezed a trigger. The endorphins and chemicals coursing through you were so intense, you couldn’t help but shake to release the tension.

 

Your senses were working overtime to perceive everything around you as everything seemed to move in slow motion. The heat of fire, the metallic scent of smoke mixed with blood, screaming and yelling and grunting- battle sounds. The constant whir of blasters and lightsabers clashing, and the white armor of the troopers, every color seemed to shine more vividly than ever before. 

 

And then it stopped. 

 

From yards away, Kylo felt a disturbance in the force before he even turned to see your lifeless body crumple to the ground- victim of a blaster shot from an enemy fighter-, no last words, no celebration from the other side, no acknowledgement. Nothing. 

 

He almost buckled to the ground, as his legs suddenly refused to hold him up. You didn’t stay by him. You didn’t stay by him. You didn’t stay by him. 

 

The thought was on loop as he swiftly disarmed several opponents just to clear a pathway to your body. He let out a yell of anguish as his hands tore off his mask before he could even think of what to do. He wanted to hold you, tell you how much you meant to him, to kiss you one last time. None of that would happen now, all because he wasn’t there to save you. 

 

His eyes took in your limp body as they filled with tears. Your (Y/H/C) hair was still perfectly done, if not a little rustled from battle. Your eyes were shut, and you almost look as if you were in a tranquil sleep, if not for the ugly, rapidly bleeding blaster wound in your stomach. A tear fell. Then another, and another. 

 

“SQUADRON, DISPATCH.” He yelled, not caring about what the enemy would think of him now, or what punishment Snoke would surely give to him for calling off a battle. He just wanted out. He wanted out of this game. 

 

He felt a bullet fly his way, and raised a hand to hurl it the other direction with the assistance of the Force. He picked you up in both of his arms, and just ran. He ran until he found his way back to the ship, almost not even caring if a bullet hit him in the process.

 

After all, the light in his life was gone.

 

As soon as he arrived back on the ship, he hurled himself to the floor, holding you like a father would his child, blood from your wound flowering out to stain his black robes. He shook you, part of his mind hoping- praying- that you were just unconscious, that you could be awoken with effort. It proved the opposite as he noticed the color was already drained from your face, and your chest didn’t rise and fall. 

 

At this point, childlike sobs exited his mouth, as he gasped and hiccupped for air as his chest rose and fell. Every stormtrooper in the squadron seemed to be staring in awe, but Kylo didn’t care. He noticed that every single stormtrooper made it out alive. The cruel fact dawned on him that you were this battle’s only casualty. 

 

He gripped your lifeless form close for who knows how long. Eventually the ship landed, someone pried your body out of his arms, stripped him down, cleaned him up. Every event blurred together, until Kylo found himself lying on a hospital bed, crunched in the fetal position. He was never this vulnerable, even to the medical droids attending him, but he had lost the ability to care. 

 

As he prayed to the Force for the strength to get up, to move, to explain to Snoke what was going on, he decided something. 

 

He didn’t want to be a part of this any longer. He couldn’t be a part of this any longer. His job had taken you away from him, and it was so meaningless to everyone else, but you were his light, and you had been torn from him. 

 

He had to leave, and bring to others what you had brought to him. 

 

He just didn’t know how. 

 

The call to the Light had never been this strong in him- it was threatening to tear him apart from the inside as his body and mind fought their impulses. Would he give in to the seduction of the Light side? Could he? 

 

Trying to stop the thoughts and temptations, he cradled his head in his hands and pressed down harshly on his temples, letting the slight twinge of pain center him back into reality. He didn’t have many options, and he knew Snoke had to be prying into his mind at this very moment, so he just shut it all out and closed his eyes, desperate for sleep, a physical release from the hell that was now his daily life. 

At least maybe in his dreams, he’d be able to see you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for another update! I'm about to launch into a super hectic week school-wise, and I figured I'd publish an installment now to hold you guys over while I brave the hell that is 2/21-2/27 :) Every comment that I get on these stories really just illuminates my life, for real. I have only gotten positive feedback, and this community is so kind and so welcoming. I can't even stop saying it, because it's so, so true. I hope you guys like this chapter, it was really hard to write for me, but hopefully it will be rewarding for you and me. Much love, as usual. Keep submitting requests and blowing my mind with your creativity <333333.


	14. The Jedi Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren finds himself feeling things that he should not be feeling when he is tasked with finding answers from you, one of the last Jedi.

“Keep moving, scum.” 

 

The stormtrooper who flanked your left side issued you a particularly rough shove, sending you stumbling forward, almost causing you to trip over your own feet before you managed to straighten up and shoot him a feisty glare in response. 

 

If you had to be quite honest in this situation, you didn’t know what pained you more- the fact that you- a distinguished Jedi- were being paraded through the populated and winding hallways of the Finalizer like some sort of trophy for every general and janitor alike to sneer at, or that you were currently rendered powerless by the bulky silver force-blocking collar that hung like a ten-pound weight around your slender neck. Handcuffs to match made it so you would have no hope of escaping. Your lightsaber had been confiscated long before you were restrained, and it was looking as if you would never see your weapon again. 

 

You held back tears as you decided what was really causing your turmoil- the fact that you were in the hands of the First Order, which meant you would likely end up betraying your Master whether you wanted to or not- the torture tactics used here were unorthodox, and they always yielded answers, even from the most determined of prisoners. That you were sure of.

 

“Ren wants her in holding cell number 3297.” The one on your right relayed the command to his partner, receiving a curt nod in response. 

 

At that remark, you felt your stomach drop and your knees weaken slightly in sheer fear. Fighting to keep yourself upright, you almost stumbled yet again, but narrowly avoided it. Kylo Ren was a man you didn’t want to cross, even when you had the Force on your side. You had been trained to be a Jedi since you could walk, and you had just about mastered every aspect of the Force, but Kylo Ren was not someone to be reckoned with. Rumors claimed that he could stop blaster bullets mid-air, read minds, and was an expert at Force-assisted torture, all things that you had no experience in. Reading minds was what you had been working on with your Master before you had been snatched away from him, and now more than ever you wished you had honed that ability at an earlier date.

 

The two men stopped you in front of a metal cell, punching in an access code and roughly shoving you inside almost immediately after the doors slid open with a dull whir. You collapsed onto the chilled, metal floor of the room, which was completely unfurnished. Silence filled the area as you slowly began to regain your breath and situate yourself in a suitable position. You could already feel the handcuffs scraping your first layer of skin on your wrists away bit by bit, and your collar was starting to become unbearably heavy. You closed your eyes, trying to chase away the many emotions that you were feeling- fear and anticipation coupled with anger and confusion. 

 

You wondered when Kylo Ren would arrive. Would it be minutes? Hours? Days, even? What if their plan was to just starve you out and leave you to die, slowly and painfully, in this unfurnished cell, alone? Being one of the last Jedi meant you were on high alert, and you would undoubtedly be put to death before you ever set foot off of this ship. You were surprised you were still alive, to be honest. 

 

Remembering the teachings of your master, you shut your eyes even tighter and clasped your cuffed hands together, almost like you were praying. You began to whisper ever so silently to yourself- a mechanism your master had taught you to utilize when you were terrified. 

 

“Fear is an illusion, anger is a hindrance, peace is absolute.” You were slurring your words together from the speed you were uttering them at. “Fear is an illusion, anger is a hindrance, peace is absolute.” You repeated the phrase several more times- maybe even more than ten, in a vain effort to chase away your rapidly mounting fear. 

 

“Fear is an illusion, anger is a hind-” 

 

The door behind you flew open, causing you to gasp in shock as you rapidly scrambled up into a standing position, your heart pounding out of your chest, and your breathing becoming quick and shallow. As your eyes beheld the person who stood before you, every fiber of your being told you to run past him and out the door. Almost as if sensing your thought, the man waved his hand, effectively closing any escape route you would have taken. 

 

He was tall. Very tall. Six feet, three inches at least. His demeanor was enough to freeze you in your tracks, a deadly combination of malice and confidence. He was wide-shouldered and clothed in all black, down to his gloves. The most eye-catching detail was his mask. You had heard secondhand how terrifying it was to behold, but as you took it in personally, you knew the rumors paled in comparison to the truth- it utterly stopped your breathing. You could hear a chuckle through it, distorted by what had to be a voice synthesizer. You straightened up and begged yourself not to show any more fear than you had to before he spoke to you, shattering the silence. 

 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). One of the very last Jedi.” He slowly walked a circle around you, stopping right behind your back and leaning in, his body heat manifesting right near the left side of your face as he tilted like he was going to whisper in your ear. “You’re powerless before me. You have no way of escaping, and you are quite a distance from home.” 

 

You gulped, trying to pull yourself away from his body, and failing, as something rooted you to where you stood. You forced yourself to keep your eyes open and stare straight ahead, defiantly, as if to say that you were blocking him out. 

 

“So tell me. Where is your Master?” 

 

His gloved hands rested themselves on your shoulders roughly, insistently. Your muscles tensed up as you felt leather on skin- cold, and foreign. Somewhere inside of you, you found the strength to speak for the first time in hours.

 

“Unbind me so we can speak as equals, and I’d be happy to tell you.” You managed, turning around to meet eyes with the masked captor. “I won’t speak otherwise.”

 

Of course you weren’t going to tell him your master’s’ location. This was to buy yourself time. For what, you didn’t know. But you would figure something out, you were sure. 

 

Kylo Ren was silent, your request catching him completely off guard as he stared at you through the eye openings in his mask for a longer duration than he had meant to. You waited, heartbeat steady, anticipating a response, a yell, something. 

 

You were met with a wave of his hand, which sent your collar onto the ground with a clang. Your (Y/E/C) eyes widened in disbelief as you felt everything you had missed rushing back to you, emotions of yourself and master, visions and maps, all rapidly coursing their way into your mind’s eye. You fought to stand upright as this sensory overload ravaged you, but you maintained your position until the storm (of sorts) had passed.

 

“Thank you.” You breathed, not knowing in the slightest what else to say. 

 

“Speak.” 

 

“Is there a reason you need to know the answer? My master doesn’t want to be found.” You stated frankly, your courage slowly coming back to you now that you had the power of the Force once more. “And if he’s set on remaining in secrecy, than that’s where he’ll remain. You’d have no hope of locating him even if I told you where I last saw him.” 

 

“I don’t think you understand your situation right now, Jedi.” Kylo Ren snapped in retort. “You are at my mercy. At any moment, you could be killed, and nobody on this ship would think twice about your death.” He was obviously frustrated that you weren’t giving him an answer, but what did he expect? You were sworn to the Jedi, and to your master, and you would rather die honorably than live a traitor for telling the masked man his location. 

 

“If you wanted the answer so badly, you’d read my mind for it.” The words spilled out of your mouth, and you knew that they weren’t wise as soon as you breathed them. You cursed yourself for being so impulsive, but this man brought something out of you that you couldn’t explain. “So why haven’t you yet?”

 

There was silence as the both of you defiantly stared each other down, daring each other to do something, anything. As the tension became almost unbearable, you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could get a word out, Kylo Ren’s hands reached upwards and fiddled with something behind his neck. In seconds, his mask came off with a small hissing sound, leaving his face exposed to you. He set the mask down on the ground, his eye contact unwavering. You almost laughed in disbelief as you took in his face. His skin was smooth and youthful, he looked so young- there was no way he was above thirty. His eyes were a dark brown, which set off his pale complexion. His face was angular and defined, accentuated by his long mane of black hair. 

 

He was beautiful. You shoved the thought away, steeling yourself up for another confrontation. Attractive or not, this man was against everything you stood for, and you wouldn’t be reduced to some desperate, sniveling wreck because the man interrogating you happened to have nice hair. 

 

“You’re really thinking now, Jedi.” His voice was still low, even without the synthesizer, but it was much less harsh. It varied in tone with every word he uttered, it was unlike any voice you had heard before, it intrigued you. “Your thoughts are threatening to spill out. They’re practically screaming at me.” 

 

You stayed quiet, unable to think up a witty response as you watched him close the distance between you, until your chests were inches from each other. You looked upward, never letting his eyes out of your sight. You could read the emotions inside them like a book. The dark brown orbs were alight with hunger for something, but they were also conflicted, scared. 

 

“Just tell me where your master is so I can be rid of you.” His jaw was clenched, and he stepped backwards to distance himself from you, as if your presence was intrusive. You answered him by taking a few steps closer to him, until your bodies were virtually touching each other, and you could see the storms inside his eyes. His body tensed as he registered how close you were to each other- your chest mere centimeters from his. 

 

“No.” You said firmly, watching his eyes narrow in anger. “Not today. Not ever.”

 

Kylo separated himself from you, cursing under his breath. 

 

“I’m finished with your games.” He growled, his cape whirling around him as he briskly walked to the exit. “I’ll be leaving you inside this cell for the next few hours, and when I come back, you will tell me the answer if you don’t want your mind probed.” 

 

You looked away, knowing he was serious. You supposed you would have to work on your blocking abilities, and quickly. You couldn’t put your Master in danger, you couldn’t disgrace the Jedi order. 

 

Before you could answer, he was gone. You sunk to the floor, head resting on the tops of your knees as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly, willing yourself to set up a mental wall. Your life depended on it. 

 

Kylo’s breath was fast and harsh as he made his journey down the hallway and to his quarters. He saw nobody on his trek, a fact which relieved him, as he had left his mask in the Jedi’s holding cell. 

 

He would have to go back for it. he knew. But not until later. 

 

He slammed his bedroom door shut behind him, sinking into a cushioned chair next to his window, and allowing his muscles to relax. He had been tense. This Jedi girl had put him on edge, and he didn’t understand why.

 

Kylo Ren rarely dealt with women. He found them to be complex, temperamental. The girl was no exception, but she made him feel a sickness in his stomach. 

 

He replayed your interaction through in his mind on loop, remembering how soft your (Y/H/C) waves looked, and the bright fire behind your eyes as you stalked up to him and virtually pinned him against a wall. His heart began to beat faster as he traced the outlines of your body inside his head, every curve and dip being committed to memory. He stopped himself mid-thought, clenching his fists tightly. There was no way he could be thinking this way about any woman, much less a Jedi. Snoke would never let this happen, and the fact that she was in his mind would bring both of them danger. 

 

He stood up, allowing himself to gaze out the window as he pondered on what to do. He couldn’t kill her, not now. He needed answers, whether he liked the fact or not. He couldn’t let her go, either. He would just have to keep visiting her inside her cell, talking to her, bringing her food and water, leeching his way inside of her life until she depended on him for safety aboard the Finalizer. Then, maybe he could persuade her to bend to his will. 

 

A slow smile spread to his face. The girl was not going to mold easily, but he found himself to be a very, very persistent man. The Jedi would be his, and he would not stop until it was so. 

 

Kylo turned to his comlink, punching in the code so he could message General Hux. 

 

“General, move the Jedi to a furnished cell. Maximum security.”

 

“May I ask why the girl is now receiving priority treatment? And why she’s even still alive?” Hux’s irritated cadence filtered through the speaker as Ren rolled his eyes. Why the General had to be so sour, he would never understand. “The Supreme Leader demands answers from her, have you gotten any yet?” 

 

“No, you may not.” He answered the General, ignoring the last part of his inquiry and terminating the connection so there was no room for any more unnecessary questions. He felt satisfied knowing the extent of his power, even over Hux. The Supreme Leader would get his answers, in time. 

 

A twinge of uncertainty began to pervade him. Yes, he was going to get answers from the Jedi, gain her trust, but what would become of them after she found out that it was a charade? 

 

He tried to push the guilt away, but it ate at him. He didn’t truly care about you, he told himself. He would be indifferent, no matter what you thought of him after the fact. His duty as an apprentice was to serve his Master, which he must do unfailingly. 

 

These were lies, but he’d face them later. He was starting to dread having to go back and retrieve his mask. If he saw you in person again, he’d have to be faced with the truth- you were a weakness, and you had latched onto him without even knowing of your true power. 

 

Kylo Ren knew he was about to fight a losing battle, but for the sake of his own sanity, he avoided thinking about it too much. He allowed himself to recline on his couch and fall into a light sleep, he would need energy to deal with his feisty Jedi prisoner when he woke up. Maybe he would uncuff her and see what her hands felt like in his this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found time to write before this week started! :D I am so happy! I wanted to do a writing like this for a while, and a request spurred me to do it today. I struggled to keep it short, as I feel like I could write a whole book just on this one prompt. Tell me what you guys think. I am already dying to see Episode 8, and it won't be out for almost two years. My heartbreak is real. I'll just have to write Kylo until then, to hold myself over. :) Hope you are all having an amazing day.


	15. Kylo Ren Headcanons, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another installment of Kylo Ren headcanons.

\- When Kylo found out that you had never played in the snow due to the fact you had been born on Coruscant- a city planet- he took an entire day off work (to Hux's dismay) to have a snowball fight with you. He even let you win. 

 

\- Afterwards, you found out the Knight of Ren is capable of making a killer hot cocoa. 

 

\- Being unaccustomed to the cold, you were shivering consistently even after you had been inside for a while. Noticing, Kylo wrapped you tightly in his cloak, and- despite your protests- he carried you bridal style throughout the house for the rest of the night, wrapped tightly and giggling.

 

\- Kylo uses the force to play with your hair, which soothes you to sleep. It's gotten to the point where you can only be soothed into slumber by that gentle touch. It's something he loves to hold over your head during fights. 

 

-You being used to turning over and feeling a cold, empty spot where Kylo was supposed to be sleeping in the morning, when your hands actually meet his body (which is rare), you wrap yourself around his torso, as if to say you weren't going to let him go. Being a very light sleeper, he usually wakes up and squeezes you to him even tighter, yawning into your face. When you giggle and try to pull away, he grips you so tightly, it takes your breath away. 

"You're mine." He'd whisper. "And good morning." He'd add hastily after you roll your eyes jokingly in response. 

-Fights between the two of you don't happen often, but when they do, Kylo almost strains himself with the effort he puts into keeping his voice below yelling volume, because he yelled at you once during a past conflict, and it shocked you so much that you burst into tears. This caused Kylo to completely panic, pushing aside his disagreements to run to you and gather you in his arms. Even after profusely apologizing to you (and you forgiving him) he felt so guilty that he stayed curled up on the far left side of the bed for the rest of the night with his back to you, silent and brooding. You didn’t understand why, but the truth was that Kylo felt like he came close to hurting the only person he had, and it terrified him more than anything that someone had this power over him, this ability to make him feel guilty for his actions. 

 

•One of the perks of being with Kylo is that his position on the Finalizer allows him to do whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases. This means many, many vacations to other planets whenever he has the time to squeeze one in. Every time he goes to another planet, he leaves his black robes at home and goes in disguise, and you know it must cause such a conflict within him when people smile and wave at him, kind and accepting expressions on their faces. It must be such a stark contrast to the fear and anguish he normally sees directed his way. You notice he almost doesn’t know what to do when people greet him, but he manages to awkwardly smile back most of the time after you squeeze his hand in encouragement. 

 

•The Knight of Ren is extremely proficient at talking dirty. You suppose you should have known, but to this day, some of the things he whispers in your ear shock a blush right onto your cheeks- very much to his satisfaction. 

 

•Despite Kylo being very sexually experienced and confident, you notice he seems to shy away from gripping you roughly, even if you ask him to. He’ll look up at you, his skin gorgeously flushed and his lips a gorgeous shade of red (no doubt from him biting them) and his voice will come out in a low, breathy tone. 

 

“Are you sure? You’re so…. small, and-” 

 

You answer him by using your legs to pull his body even closer to you, and biting his ear gently, bringing forth a low groan from his throat. He takes it as a signal to let go of his inhibitions, and the rest of the night is history. 

 

•After you and Kylo had been a couple for a little over a year, Kylo bursts into your room, shaking with what could only be described as fear, pacing the room and gripping his head in his hands. When you gently ask him what is wrong, he collapses onto the couch beside you and exhales- slowly and shakily- before answering.

 

“Snoke demands a child.” His voice is strangled, resigned. At first, you were perplexed as to why he was so scared and unhappy, but then you realize it- once you have a child, Snoke will take full control of it. You may as well say goodbye to your baby as soon as it came out. Your heart sinks, but you manage to take your partner’s hand in yours and squeeze it tightly. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face, as if he was trying to read your thoughts, but you felt no presence in your mind. 

 

“I think you know what we need to do.” You whisper.

 

“I think I do.” He replied, barely above a whisper. “I think I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I made it sound like I wasn't going to be publishing much this week, but I am on a roll!!! As nervous and apprehensive as I was about this week, I am handling my coursework very well, and I figured I'd reward myself by writing a few short headcanons for you all!!! These are some of my favorite things to write. I do have one issue, though- I want to know what you all want for the next oneshot I put out- smut, angst, fluff? What are you all feeling for? Please tell me in the comments so I can deliver what I am here to deliver- the best of Kylo Ren ;) My inspiration is still running wild, so pretty much anything the majority of you want, I'd probably have no problem writing it. See you all next chapter!!!


	16. Sneak Peek- Arranged Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sneak peek into my next oneshot/large project- an arranged marriage AU between you and Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys!!!! This is a short sneak peek into my upcoming project- my first arranged marriage fic. There will be smut, probably fluff, and a lot of angst. Hopefully the end result will satisfy. Tell me what you guys are thinking of this sample- is it sounding like something you would read? Feedback is crucial!!! I am so excited to be tackling this topic, which is one I have wanted to write since the movie came out. :D I'd be overjoyed to hear from you all.

Fear was an obsolete emotion to you. Being a member of the dark side since childhood who was born to parents that had notable positions in the ranks of the First Order had bred you to hone emotions like fear into energy for more productive activities. This could be murdering, stealing, even scavenging on some occasions- anything that kept you free of fear and gained you something monetary or otherwise. 

 

As a child, your parents had noticed something special in you- at the age of four, you were able to levitate your toys, at eight, you could stop objects in mid air. By sixteen, you were capable of manipulating the movements of people and even reading the thoughts of your own parents. Admittedly, your abilities had terrified you- you hadn’t a clue where they came from, and the fact that nobody else seemed to have these abilities made you feel like an outsider. That was around the time your parents had sent you to Supreme Leader Snoke, who trained you in what you came to find out was called “The Force”. You had been subjected to extreme pain, mental pressure, and physical damage before he granted you your lightsaber and the title of a Sith. You had earned that title through your own blood, sweat, and tears, and you knew that fear had absolutely nothing to do with it. 

 

But on this day, as you stood in front of your master, listening to his words, fear started to sneak its way into your very bones. 

 

“Your allegiance with Kylo Ren is absolutely crucial to the First Order.” Snoke’s raspy voice seemed to vibrate the entire room, and even in his holographic form, his excitement was palpable on his face. “Crucial to the galaxy. The union between the two of you will yield more power than this world has ever seen. There will be an awakening, (Y/N).”

 

The sound of his voice uttering your name caused you to shiver slightly, as you tried to search for the right words to answer him with. Your throat felt constricted, and your palms began to sweat as you looked up at him and began to speak.

 

“Supreme Leader, are you saying…” You clenched your hands into fists to stop them from shaking. “Are you suggesting a marriage? To Kylo Ren?” You barely spoke the last part, and it came out in an almost inaudible whisper. In all your years on the Starkiller, you had only seen the masked man stalking around the hallways, ordering officers, or worse- throwing tantrums while wielding one of the most powerful weapons in the galaxy, tearing apart entire control rooms with a few swings of his saber. He had never spoken a word to you, but being as proficient in the Force as you were, his energy spoke to you loud and clear. It was unstable, irrational, and deadly. Almost too much so, even for a Sith. You could not marry someone so unpredictable, you wouldn’t. Not Kylo Ren, not if you wanted to be alive for more than a year from now. 

 

“I’m not suggesting, I’m demanding.” Snoke’s bony, grey-tinged hand closed around the arm of the chair he reclined on forcefully, as if he was intending to suck the life force out of the metal piece of furniture. “The ceremony will take place tomorrow morning. You will be married to Kylo Ren, and you will not disappoint me. Am I understood, (Y/N)?” His eyes narrowed into slits, and you could feel an icy, sharp presence inside of your mind. He was trying to scan for thoughts of rebellion, of anger, anything he could use against you. He wanted to have the right to punish you, that much was clear. You wouldn’t allow it, you decided. You would go with this silly plan, for now. 

 

Fighting to shut him out, bidding yourself to erase any stray thoughts, you managed to make and maintain eye contact with your master, clearing your face and eyes of any fear, discomfort, and anger you felt in the moment. 

 

“You’re understood, Master. The awakening will soon occur, I am sure of it.” You bowed low, a sign of respect and submission. The gesture seemed to reassure Snoke of your unwavering loyalty and capability, because you felt the ice in your brain begin to thaw, and your neck and jaw muscles began to relax by a fractional amount. But you still felt a lurch in your stomach, and a cold sweat still glistened on your brow. 

 

As soon as you felt him fully retreat from inside your head, your mind began to race, with one thought and one thought only-

 

How in the name of the galaxy were you going to be a wife to Kylo Ren?

**Author's Note:**

> Taking requests :) tell me what you all think! Jealous, angsty Kylo is my favorite Kylo.


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